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Write a passage about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city

Write a passage about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city V0YYK
In these days, many people tend to move into the city. There are some argument and acceptance about the benefits and drawbacks of living in the city. In my opinion, it has both advantages and disadvantages. It's true that cities have a lot of opportunities for people who are looking for jobs with high salary. Because big companies or international enterprises usually locate in big cities and they are always looking for employees. Especially, many people accept low- paying jobs like street vendors or construction workers to earn a living in urban life. It's easy to understand why people want to live in the city in the hope of having a better life. Life in the city has its own convenience. For example, there are shops, supermarkets, and restaurants everywhere to satisfy everyone's demand whenever they need. City also offers many recreational facilities to please you in your free time such as theaters, cinemas, etc. Moreover, living condition in the city is really comfortable with modern equipment like the Internet, television, telephone, etc. However, life in the city also has lots of disadvantages. The biggest issue in the city is traffic. Streets and roads in the cities are always packed with vehicles and people. Another problem is the atmosphere. The air in the city is contaminated because of the commission from factories and transport. This leads to environmental pollution and in some cases seriously affects people’s health. Nevertheless, I still want to live in the city because nowadays there are so many facilities I can't refuse. And because I feel relaxed and comfortable staying in my own city.
In these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into the city. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argument and acceptance about the benefits and drawbacks of living in the city. In my opinion, it has both advantages and disadvantages.

It's true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are looking for jobs with high salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or international enterprises
usually
locate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cities and
they are always looking for employees.
Especially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accept low- paying jobs like street vendors or construction workers to earn a living in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It's easy to understand why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city in the hope of having a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
in the city has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
convenience.
For example
, there are shops, supermarkets, and restaurants everywhere to satisfy everyone's demand whenever they need. City
also
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recreational facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
you in your free time such as theaters, cinemas, etc.
Moreover
, living condition in the city is
really
comfortable with modern equipment like the Internet, television, telephone, etc.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the city
also
has lots of disadvantages. The biggest issue in the city is traffic. Streets and roads in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are always packed with vehicles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another problem is the atmosphere. The air in the city
is contaminated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the commission from factories and transport. This leads to environmental pollution and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
seriously
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.

Nevertheless
, I
still
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities I can't refuse. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I feel relaxed and comfortable staying in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
city.
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IELTS essay Write a passage about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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