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Write a paragraph of about 150 words about the best invention of the 20th century.

Write a paragraph of about 150 words about the best invention of the 20th century. DaLaA
There are many useful inventions improving people’s lives. From my perspective, I believe that smartphones play a key role in today’s world. Firstly, these phones are incredibly useful as people can do many things such as sending an email or reading an online article only with a device in their pocket. Moreover, a huge amount of data can be stored on smartphones, which assists people in learning, researching, and teaching effectively. Secondly, smartphones help people who live far away from each other to interact easily. For example, business meetings can be conducted via video conferences, which allows companies from different countries to do business together. Furthermore, in the COVID-19 pandemic, students can study at home flexibly and easily with only a smartphone and stable wifi. In the 20th century, smartphones are developed about features in order to meet client needs. The development of new types of smartphones that are environmentally friendly receives many attention around the world. As these phones run on solar energy instead of electricity and traditional fuels, they can save an enormous amount of electricity and do not harm the environment. In conclusion, I believe that smartphones are very convenient and useful for people and it plays a significant role in improving citizens’ lives.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful inventions improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. From my perspective, I believe that smartphones play a key role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
Firstly
, these phones are
incredibly
useful as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things such as sending an email or reading an online article
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with a device in their pocket.
Moreover
, a huge amount of data can
be stored
on smartphones, which assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in learning, researching, and teaching
effectively
.
Secondly
, smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from each other to interact
easily
.
For example
, business meetings can
be conducted
via video conferences, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries to do business together.
Furthermore
, in the COVID-19 pandemic, students can study at home
flexibly
and
easily
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a smartphone and stable
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
. In the 20th century, smartphones
are developed
about features in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
client needs. The development of new types of smartphones that are
environmentally
friendly receives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attention around the world. As these phones run on solar energy
instead
of electricity and traditional fuels, they can save an enormous amount of electricity and do not harm the environment.
In conclusion
, I believe that smartphones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it plays a significant role in improving citizens’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph of about 150 words about the best invention of the 20th century.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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