Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Acountry’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Acountry’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. o1L13
The youth of a nation play a critical role in a country’s future. Thus, the manner in which young people are raised is intrinsically tied to the capabilities of new generations of workers. It is agreed that a country should invest considerably in its youth. This will be shown by analyzing how such a practice can lead a nation to international competitiveness and how it can lead people to more charitable lives. Firstly, a state’s ability to compete in the modern world is only as strong as its citizens’ minds. Take the Japanese education system as an example. Despite the crippling effects of the Second World War, Japan’s focus on education and the nurturing of academia played a part in leading the country to become the second largest economy in the world. This would never have been possible had the country not invested in and embraced the education of its young people. Thus, it is clear that a country’s commitment to its young people has direct ramifications on its future. Secondly, people who grow up with the gift of a proper education can do more to help the needy in their country. For instance, Germany is a state that produces large numbers of highly capable medical practitioners, and this allows all German citizens to receive quality medical attention. Were Germany as a nation to cease investment in young people seeking a medical education, this service to the public could not be provided as effectively. Because of this, its clear that positive results come to nations that invest in their youth. After analyzing how a country’s focus on its young people can lead to economical strength and domestic social benefits, the link between investment in youth and a nation’s future can clearly be seen. It is hoped the committing of national resources to youths is a practice employed around the world.
The youth of a nation play a critical role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
future.
Thus
, the manner in

which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are raised
is
intrinsically
tied to the capabilities of new

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
generations
of workers. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should invest
considerably
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
its


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
youth
. This will
be shown
by analyzing how such a practice can lead a nation
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
international
competitiveness and how it can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to more charitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Firstly
, a state’s ability to compete in the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as strong as its

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
citizens
’ minds. Take the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system as an example. Despite
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


crippling effects of the Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War, Japan’s focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and the

nurturing of academia played a part in leading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to become the second

A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
economy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This would never have been possible had the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
not
invested in and embraced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
country
’s commitment to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
direct ramifications on its future.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who grow up with the gift of a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can do more to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
help
the needy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, Germany is a state that produces
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
large


numbers of
highly
capable medical practitioners, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
all German citizens

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
receive quality medical attention. Were Germany as a nation to cease investment
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seeking a medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, this service to the public could not be

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
provided
as
effectively
.
Because of this
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
nations


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
invest in their youth.

“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
analyzing how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
focus on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can lead to economical

strength and domestic social benefits, the link between investment in youth and a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nation
’s future can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. It
is hoped
the committing of national resources
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
youths
is a practice employed around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Acountry’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth.

Essay
  American English
23 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Acountry’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?