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Write a paragraph of 100 words about your last weekend

Write a paragraph of 100 words about your last weekend 9B120
The last Sunday was my 20 birthday and it was pretty good. I really had a lot of memorises. At the the moment of the day, my parents wished me happy birthday and I had a hearty breakfast after that. Then, I hangs out with my best friend all the day. We went shopping at mall, went to the cinema and he took me a lot of beautiful photos. My birthday party was hold in the night. My friends arrived early in the evening. They gave me a lot of presents and wishes. I blew out the candles when everyone sang Happy Birthday. My dad played music and we all sang and danced happily. We had a good time together and I had a great birthday party.
The last Sunday was my 20 birthday and it was pretty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. I
really
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorises' is British English.
memorises
. At
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
moment of the day, my parents wished me happy birthday and I had a hearty breakfast after that. Then, I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "hang"
hangs
out with my best friend all the day. We went shopping at mall, went to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cinema and
he took me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
photos. My birthday party was hold in the night. My friends arrived early in the evening. They gave me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
presents and wishes. I blew out the candles when everyone sang Happy Birthday. My dad played
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
music and
we all sang and danced
happily
. We had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time together and I had a great birthday party.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph of 100 words about your last weekend

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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