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nowadays, it is believed that children in primary schools should not be allowed to use smartphones

nowadays, it is believed that children in primary schools should not be allowed to use smartphones QKN9K
In today's high-tech era, smartphones have almost become an indispensable item, but because they also have many harmful sides for children under 10 years old. In my opinion, children should not use Smartphones too early for the following reasons. Firstly, Cell phones emit radiation that greatly affects children's brains because the baby's radiation absorption is much larger than that of adults. Next, Children easily spend a lot of time on the phone making themselves quiet, don't like or shy away from talking to people. For example, it will further delay children's thinking development, which can make children negative and prone to depression. Finally, children learn very quickly, so misinformation or online actions that parents cannot control will be remembered and followed by children such as school violence or saying bad words. . In summary, mobile phone victimization also affects learning in the room where children find it difficult to pay attention to lectures and lack confidence in communication, which can reduce learning outcomes.
In
today
's high-tech era, smartphones have almost become an indispensable item,
but
because
they
also
have
many
harmful sides for
children
under 10 years
old
. In my opinion,
children
should not
use
Smartphones too early for the following reasons.
Firstly
, Cell phones emit radiation that
greatly
affects children's brains
because
the baby's radiation absorption is much larger than that of adults.
Next
,
Children
easily
spend
a lot of
time on the phone making themselves quiet, don't like or shy away from talking to
people
.
For example
, it will
further
delay children's thinking development, which can
make
children
negative
and prone to depression.
Finally
,
children
learn
very
quickly
,
so
misinformation or online actions that parents cannot control will
be remembered
and followed by
children
such as school violence or saying
bad
words.
.
In summary, mobile phone victimization
also
affects learning in the room where
children
find it difficult to pay attention to lectures and lack confidence in communication, which can
reduce
learning outcomes.
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IELTS essay nowadays, it is believed that children in primary schools should not be allowed to use smartphones

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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