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Write a paragraph describing your dream job, a job you would like to have. Give reasons to support your ideas

Write a paragraph describing your dream job, a job you would like to have. Give reasons to support your ideas 1oMoq
When I was little I loved to make handmade things. Because of my ingenuity, my dream is to become a craftsman. I was in middle school, my favorite subject was crafting and i I won second place in a school craft competition. The special skill I learned from crafting is can showcase my creativity, ingenuity, sophistication and taste to end up with a unique piece like no other. And hand-made items are different from the popular machine-made items today. Each hand-made work shows the creativity and meticulousness of its maker. The items I love to make are dreamcatcher, knitting scarf, keychain. My dream is to open a small shop to sell these cute handmade things. This dream is difficult in the long run but it's a dream so I want to try to pursue it.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handmade
things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of my ingenuity, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
is to become a craftsman. I was in middle school, my favorite subject was crafting and
Possible typo: you repeated a word
i I
won second place in a school craft competition. The special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
I learned from crafting is can showcase my creativity, ingenuity, sophistication and taste to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with a unique piece like no other. And hand-made items are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the popular machine-made items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Each hand-made work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the creativity and meticulousness of its maker. The items I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
dreamcatcher
, knitting scarf,
Possible spelling mistake found.
keychain
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
is to open a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shop to sell these cute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handmade
things. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
is difficult in the long run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I want to try to pursue it.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph describing your dream job, a job you would like to have. Give reasons to support your ideas

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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