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Write a letter to the college accommodation officer asking him to change your room. In your letter write-the problems you are facing. What you want them to change. v.1

Write a letter to the college accommodation officer asking him to change your room. In your letter write-the problems you are facing. What you want them to change. v. 1
Some sceptics are of the view that nothing useful could be grabbed from the study of the history, as it is already gone, while others are of the view that same embraces the paths the human has trodden and troubles been faced over time, as such has a lot to look into. I think, the history is important to mend the future in the best way possible. First of all, the methodology used in the past is based on old customs and traditions. With the advancement of technology, all those methods are not productive anymore. As such, people try to focus on improving the future with the latest and the modern automated tools, only. For instance, today, with various new inventions, like, many measures to put on the fire, looking into the historical old stone rubbing technology is not useful. Furthermore, it will result in wastage of the time. On the other hand, History helps us to be aware of mistakes done in the past. Therefore, study of the old times will help us in knowing the steps taken for some specific job and will suggest what not to do with regard to same. Hence, learning it can provide enormous help in drafting an effective and efficient future. To put it in another way, an analysis could be done in ancient ways used in building a bridge and analysing the various effects on same over time. Moreover, it will also suggest the mistakes done to question the sustainability of the bridge, to overcome in today’s designs. In conclusion, the people may find research of the past times as unproductive as it holds the ancient methods, but it also tells about the mistakes done in the past. I think that an investigation of same will help in making our lives more comfortable in the coming times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptics' is British English.
sceptics
are of the view that nothing useful could
be grabbed
from the study of the history, as it is already gone, while others are of the view that same embraces the paths the human has trodden and troubles
been faced
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, as such has a lot to look into. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, the history is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to mend the future in the best way possible.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the methodology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
customs and traditions. With the advancement of technology, all those methods are not productive anymore. As such,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to focus on improving the future with the latest and the modern automated tools,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, with various new inventions, like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures to put on the fire, looking into the historical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
stone rubbing technology is not useful.
Furthermore
, it will result in wastage of the time.

On the other hand
, History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to be aware of mistakes done in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Therefore
, study of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us in knowing the steps taken for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific job and will suggest what not to do with regard to same.
Hence
, learning it can provide enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in drafting an effective and efficient future. To put it in another way, an analysis could
be done
in ancient ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in building a bridge and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the various effects on same over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
, it will
also
suggest the mistakes done to question the sustainability of the bridge, to overcome in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s designs.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may find research of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
as unproductive as it holds the ancient methods,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
about the mistakes done in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that an investigation of same will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more comfortable in the coming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to the college accommodation officer asking him to change your room. In your letter write-the problems you are facing. What you want them to change. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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