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A friend you made while you studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: tell your friend v.1

A friend you made while you studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: tell your friend v. 1
Education is important in training a child and it can be gained in homes or at an academy. In contrast to the number of children who attend a traditional institute, there is an increasing count of children being educated by their parents. Despite that this offers some benefits, there seems to be more drawbacks of being home-taught by the minor's parents rather than at school, and I agree. Analysing the benefit of parental care when taught at home, and the lack of socialising as drawback of not attending a formal school, will establish the idea. To begin with, children who are educated in their homes are usually well-supervised by their parents. For example, a recent study concluded that 80 percent of homeschooled children, are better behaved in public as compared only 50 percent of students from conventional schools, which are usually too active outside their homes. This is because children who learn in their homes are trained more on attitude and morals by their parents, which makes them to apply themselves with good manners anywhere they find themselves. Overall, the main benefit of schooling at home would perhaps be to gain good character through parental guidance. On the other hand, there is a significant disadvantage of gaining education solely in homes, which is negatively impacting on the minor's social life. For instance, most children make more friends in schools, which the socialise with for an extended period of time than having only friends in their neighbourhood. Because of this, such children will have exposure to more aspects of life than if they studied in their homes. Evidently, children who go to a citadel of learning will undoubtedly learn more about adapting in the society as a whole better than a stereotypical approach of homeschooling. In conclusion, although there is an argument that when children are educated by their parents in their homes, they tend to be well-behaved in the public, the drawback of not having to socialise and make more friends by going to school to learn by far outweighs such minor benefit because such child will be better prepared generally for the future. It seems advisable that parents should encourage the idea of allowing children to attend schools outside their home. .
Education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in training a child and it can
be gained
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
or at an academy.
In contrast
to the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attend a traditional institute, there is an increasing count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being educated
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Despite that this offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, there seems to be more drawbacks of being home-taught by the minor's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rather
than at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of parental care when taught at home, and the lack of
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
as drawback of not attending a formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, will establish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are educated
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
usually
well-supervised by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, a recent study concluded that 80 percent of homeschooled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, are better behaved in public as compared
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50 percent of students from conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, which are
usually
too active outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
learn in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are trained
more on attitude and morals by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to apply themselves with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners anywhere they find themselves.
Overall
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of schooling at home would perhaps be to gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
character through parental guidance.

On the other hand
, there is a significant disadvantage of gaining education
solely
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, which is
negatively
impacting on the minor's social life.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, which
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'socialise' is correct. If 'socialise' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the socialise
with for an extended period of time than having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
friends in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Because of this
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have exposure to more aspects of life than if they studied in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
Evidently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go to a citadel of learning will
undoubtedly
learn more about adapting in the society as a whole better than a stereotypical approach of homeschooling.

In conclusion
, although there is an argument that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are educated
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, they tend to be well-behaved in the public, the drawback of not having to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends by going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to learn by far outweighs such minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such child will be better prepared
generally
for the future. It seems advisable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
outside their home.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A friend you made while you studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: tell your friend v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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