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Write a 200 word report describing problems and solutions relating to a Sustainable Development Goal in Vietnam.

Write a 200 word report describing problems and solutions relating to a Sustainable Development Goal in Vietnam. l7qPD
The Sustainable Development Goals or SDGs were brought out by The United Nations in 2015 to help countries all over the world develop in a comprehensive way. There are 17 SDGs that integrated with each other in order to end poverty, preserve and protect the environment, and also ensure that all of the countries’ residents can enjoy peace and prosperity by 2030 (UNDP, n. d. ). Even though Vietnam is considered as one of the countries which recorded a remarkable economic growth of 6. 7 percent despite the COVID-19 pandemic (ADB, 2021), however there are still many issues need to be solved. This essay will be concentrated on Vietnam’s progression of SDG number 4 “Quality education”, especially providing education for the minorities and outline some problems and possible solutions. The primary reason why many ethnic minority students are not allowed to go to school is mainly the lack of acknowledgement that their parents have about education. Most of the ethnic students are in difficult situations as they are from low-income households and their parents would rather them working to make a contribution to the family’s monthly income than studying and waste money on education – which is claimed as not essential. As a consequence, the literacy rate among the minority group of people is much lower compare to the Viet or Kinh people; and many young girls are forced to have marriage at ages of 13, 14. In order to tackle this issue, beneficial policies towards ethnic students have been made and brought out by the Vietnamese government. Giving extra points for students that come from ethnic minorities, for example, will create more opportunities to enrol universities courses; or the students do not need to pay their tuition fee. In addition, teachers will go to every household in the village to inform both parents and students the right attitude towards learning, raise awareness in education (Tung D, 2020) and also the advantages of education. After all the hardworking, it is recorded positive outcome results as parents are now willing to let their children go to school. In conclusion, Vietnam still needs to focus more on providing education for everyone if they want to improve their economy and positions.
The Sustainable Development Goals or
Possible spelling mistake found.
SDGs
were brought
out by The United Nations in 2015 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
countries all over the world develop
Consider replacing "in a comprehensive way" with the adverb for "comprehensive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a comprehensive way
. There are 17
Possible spelling mistake found.
SDGs
that integrated with each other in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
poverty, preserve and protect the environment, and
also
ensure that
Consider using "all the".
all of the
countries’ residents can enjoy peace and prosperity by 2030 (
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNDP
, n. d.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
.
Even though
Vietnam
is considered
as one of the countries which recorded a remarkable economic growth of 6. 7 percent despite the COVID-19 pandemic (ADB, 2021),
however
there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues need to
be solved
. This essay will
be concentrated
on Vietnam’s progression of SDG number 4 “Quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education”
,
especially
providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
and outline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems and possible solutions.

The primary reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go to school is
mainly
the lack of
Possible spelling mistake. 'acknowledgement' is British English.
acknowledgement
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are in difficult situations as they are from low-income households and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
rather
them working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution to the family’s monthly income than studying and waste money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
which
is claimed
as not essential. As a consequence, the literacy rate among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is much lower compare to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kinh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
; and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young girls
are forced
to have marriage at ages of 13, 14.

In order to tackle this issue, beneficial policies towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
been made
and brought out by the Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Giving extra points for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
,
for example
, will create more opportunities to enrol universities courses; or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not need to pay their tuition fee.
In addition
, teachers will go to every household in the village to inform both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the right attitude towards learning, raise awareness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tung
D, 2020) and
also
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
After all
the hardworking, it
is recorded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome results as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their children go to school.

In conclusion
, Vietnam
still
needs to focus more on providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for everyone if they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their economy and positions.
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IELTS essay Write a 200 word report describing problems and solutions relating to a Sustainable Development Goal in Vietnam.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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