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Write a 140-word paragraph to show the similarities OR differences of an online class and a traditional class

Write a 140-word paragraph to show the similarities OR differences of an online class and a traditional class wMl5n
Although online classes and traditional classes are all good ways of studying, there are a lot of differences between them. Firstly, online classes have free studying programs. These include unoccupied schedules with no more than 5 subjects which are separated into many lectures during a week. In addition, students can decide how they will study which will make them comfortable and have a lot of time to do whatever they like after the lectures. On the other hand, traditional classes regard given courses contents and demand students to follow them for many years which may not please some creative ones. Secondly, the online classes may make the teachers and their students lack interaction, for they take place through the Internet. Because teachers can’t see whether students are studying seriously behind the screens, the lectures may not produce the desired effect that is worse than traditional classes which involve direct interaction. Thirdly, online classes may only be suitable for students who don’t need classmates. They will study alone without interruption, so they will be extremely concentrated and can explain everything by themselves in silence rooms. In contrast to online classes, traditional classes are intended for students who like people around them. More eventful environments may create more comprehensive people who will integrate into the international community quicker. In conclusion, online classes and traditional classes are different because of those sensible reasons
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways of studying, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
differences between them.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
have free studying programs. These include unoccupied schedules with no more than 5 subjects which
are separated
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lectures during a week.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can decide how they will study which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them comfortable and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to do whatever they like after the lectures.
On the other hand
,
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traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
regard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
courses contents and demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to follow them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years which may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
creative ones.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the teachers and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lack interaction, for they take place through the Internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
teachers can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are studying
seriously
behind the screens, the lectures may not produce the desired effect
that is
worse than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
which involve direct interaction.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who don’t need classmates. They will study alone without interruption,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be
extremely
concentrated and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
everything by themselves in silence rooms.
In contrast
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are intended
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them. More eventful environments may create more comprehensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who will integrate into the international community quicker.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those sensible
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reasons
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IELTS essay Write a 140-word paragraph to show the similarities OR differences of an online class and a traditional class

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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