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Would you like to go to a small university in the countryside or a large university in the city?

Would you like to go to a small university in the countryside or a large university in the city? MrJLN
Choosing University is a big process that includes a lot of aspects and factors that a future student has to consider. One of them is location and size, they can define which facilities, opportunities, advantages, and disadvantages graduates will have. Some people believe that it is better to choose a small University in the countryside and enjoy a peaceful life with a small number of people. Meanwhile, others prefer big colleges in urban settings which provide students with a lot of meetings and places. I would choose a large college in the city because of the diversity of nations that I can meet there and the close location of necessary facilities. First of all, being an international student like me means having some problems at the beginning of studying abroad. Meeting someone from your ethnicity can help to join the team or ask for help with things that are difficult for another mentality’s person. For example, my older sister finished the University of Toronto which has more than sixty southend students. She stated that already in the first week she met a group of Kazakh girls from her faculty. For my sister, it was easy to join the team. However, when she studied in Gatlinburg, USA she had difficulties with adoption due to the small diversity of nations there. Secondly, getting from the village to a leisure center or other entertainment centers will take a lot more time than walking a couple of blocks. If in this case, you can still find a way to devote the weekend for pleasure, in cases of urgency like an emergency of professional medical care it is pivotal to get to your destination in a short time. For example, my older brother who studies medicine in Germany knows of an accident from his small university in a village near the river Bon when one student drowned in this river. He was in serious condition, however, the way from village to clinic took too long, and now he has injuries that could not be healed with any type of treatment. From what has been analyzed above, I would like to study at a large University in an urban setting.
Choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
process that includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
aspects and factors that a future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
consider. One of them is location and size, they can define which facilities, opportunities,
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "advantage".
advantages
, and disadvantages graduates will have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is better to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in the countryside and enjoy a peaceful life with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Meanwhile, others prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
colleges in urban settings which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
meetings and places. I would choose a large college in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the diversity of nations that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
there and the close location of necessary facilities.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, being an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
like me means having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems at the beginning of studying abroad. Meeting someone from your ethnicity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the team or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with things that are difficult for another mentality’s person.
For example
, my older sister finished the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Toronto which has more than sixty
Possible spelling mistake found.
southend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. She stated that already in the
first
week she met a group of Kazakh girls from her faculty. For my sister, it was easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the team.
However
, when she studied in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gatlinburg
, USA she had difficulties with adoption due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
diversity of nations there.

Secondly
, getting from the village to a leisure center or other entertainment centers will take a lot more time than walking a couple of blocks. If
in this case
, you can
still
find a way to devote the weekend for pleasure, in cases of urgency like an emergency of professional medical care it is pivotal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to your destination in a short time.
For example
, my older brother who studies medicine in Germany knows of an accident from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in a village near the river
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bon
when one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
drowned in this river. He was in serious condition,
however
, the way from village to clinic took too long, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he has injuries that could not
be healed
with any type of treatment.

From what has
been analyzed
above, I would like to study at a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in an urban setting.
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IELTS essay Would you like to go to a small university in the countryside or a large university in the city?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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