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would you agree with the people who think it is better to change career at least once in their life?

would you agree with the people who think it is better to change career at least once in their life? 7a0GX
Career, Irrespective of the importance we give to it, it still ends up being undervalued. The reason being very staright-forward. We hardly understand the humungous part it plays in our life. Elaborating the above stance on an emotional level, A person, say a software engineer works 9 hours a day. Let's add two more hours for commuting and other extended work hours. So it would amount to 11 hours a day which would amount to almost half of a day. If he is even a little unhappy about it, he wouldn't be enjoying a major part of his life. A change would either help him be happy or at least make him realise and accept the nature of the work. On the other hand, If the person is happy with his work, a change would mean an opportunity to be happier. Elaborating the above stance from a financial point of view, I could quote my very example. Raj and myself joined IT Industry 9 years back. I have been part of the same organization, working on similar jobs for the entire span. Raj, gained business knowledge, completed an MBA and is now working as a consultant to software projects earning twice as I do. Considering the above aspects associated with career, I would agree with the people who think it is better to change career at least once in their life.
Career, Irrespective of the importance we give to it, it
still
ends up
being undervalued
. The reason being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
staright-forward
. We hardly understand the humungous part it plays in our life.

Elaborating the above stance on an emotional level, A person, say a software engineer works 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
two more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for commuting and other extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it would amount to 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day which would amount to almost half of a day. If he is even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
unhappy about it, he wouldn't be enjoying a major part of his life. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
would either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him be happy or at least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
and accept the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
On the other hand
, If the person is happy with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
would mean an opportunity to be happier.

Elaborating the above stance from a financial point of view, I could quote my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
example. Raj and
Did you mean "I"?
myself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
IT Industry 9 years back. I have been part of the same organization, working on similar jobs for the entire span. Raj, gained business knowledge, completed an MBA and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
working as a consultant to software projects earning twice as I do.

Considering the above aspects associated with career, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
career at least once in their life.
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IELTS essay would you agree with the people who think it is better to change career at least once in their life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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