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Summarise the information and make relevant corrections wherever required

Summarise the information and make relevant corrections wherever required QLKbx
Around 11% of the population which accounted for 1837000 people in Australia lived in poverty in 1999. Among all households, aged couples were the least hit by poverty as only 4% of these citizens have been classified in this category. Next to the aged couple, come single-aged people, 6% or 54, 000 of them are poor. Those couples who don't have children seem to be less affected by paucity of money as only 7% of these people are impoverished, much lesser than those with couples who have children and figuring lying around 12% or 933000. They constitute the greatest proportion of poor people in the country owing to the fact of occupying major part in the overall population. Contrary to the expectation, a high percentage of single people (19%) with no children live in poverty. Household worst affected by poverty is the one constituted of sole parents, among whom almost 21% can't afford basic life amenities. One plausible explanation of the above pattern can be, with couples household expenses, work is divided which is difficult with single people. Adding to this reasoning, sole parents having additional expenditure for children find it more difficult to manage their finances.
Around 11% of the population which accounted for 1837000
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people
in Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
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poverty
in 1999. Among all households, aged
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couples
were the least hit by
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poverty
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4% of these citizens have
been classified
in this category.
Next
to the aged
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couple
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
single-aged
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people
, 6% or 54, 000 of them are poor. Those
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couples
who don't have
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children
seem to be less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by paucity of money as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% of these
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people
are impoverished
, much lesser than those with
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couples
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and figuring lying around 12% or 933000. They constitute the greatest proportion of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the country owing to the fact of occupying major part in the
overall
population. Contrary to the expectation, a high percentage of single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(19%) with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
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poverty
. Household worst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is the one constituted of sole parents, among whom almost 21% can't afford basic life amenities. One plausible explanation of the above pattern can be, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
household expenses, work
is divided
which is difficult with single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Adding to this reasoning, sole parents having additional expenditure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
find it more difficult to manage their finances.
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IELTS essay Summarise the information and make relevant corrections wherever required

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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