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World would be a better place if more women were on leaders position.

World would be a better place if more women were on leaders position. pKwj3
In this contemporary era, the perception towards working women has changed as compared to the past. Is it not a verifiable fact that an array of masses deem that more leaders seats will be reserved for women for the better running of the society? Basically, this is true phenomenon. As far as my paradigm is being concerned, I partially agree with this statement and I will justify my opinion in this piece of writing. To commence with the notion, why more women will be leaders? This is due to the fact that women have more patience and co-operation, even they adapt things easily. To demonstrate this, there is an epitome that, a survey conducted by Oxford University in England claimed that 70% of women did on act impulsively and in engage manner on risky situations, however they handle circumstances patiently, furthermore, there will be smooth running of the society in every field because of the patient nature of women. That is why majority of individuals are in favour of women. Shifting towards the ideology that nowadays the gender differences between make and female are disappearing as they are working shoulder to shoulder with men, no one can deny that the the percentage of men snd women on working sites are equal, consequently, giving more preference to women is unfair, equal opportunities should be given to both, their interpersonal skills should be top priority while recruiting a person for leader no matter either men or women, he or she will be choosed according to their abilities and skills. For instance, in schools equal chances are given to both the boys and girls to develop their skills or talent and to perform. To recapitulate, the aforementioned discussions boils down the fact that although, women have more patience, yet they both should be considered equally.
In this contemporary era, the perception towards working
women
has
changed
as compared to the past. Is it not a verifiable fact that an array of masses
deem
that more leaders seats will
be reserved
for
women
for the better running of the society?
Basically
, this is true phenomenon. As far as my paradigm is
being concerned
, I
partially
agree
with this statement and I will justify my opinion in this piece of writing.

To commence with the notion, why more
women
will be leaders?
This is due to the fact that
women
have more patience and co-operation, even they adapt things
easily
. To demonstrate this, there is an epitome that, a survey conducted by Oxford University in England claimed that 70% of
women
did on act
impulsively
and in engage manner on risky situations,
however
they handle circumstances
patiently
,
furthermore
, there will be smooth running of the society in every field
because
of the patient nature of
women
.
That is
why majority of individuals are in
favour
of women.

Shifting towards the ideology that nowadays the gender differences between
make
and female are disappearing as they are working shoulder to shoulder with
men
, no one can deny that
the the
percentage of
men
snd
women
on working sites are equal,
consequently
, giving more preference to
women
is unfair, equal opportunities should be
given
to both, their interpersonal
skills
should be top priority while recruiting a person for leader no matter either
men
or
women
, he or she will be
choosed
according to their abilities and
skills
.
For instance
, in schools equal chances are
given
to both the boys and girls to develop their
skills
or talent and to perform.

To recapitulate, the aforementioned discussions boils down the fact that although,
women
have more patience,
yet
they both should
be considered
equally
.
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IELTS essay World would be a better place if more women were on leaders position.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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