Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

World would be a better place if more women were on leaders position.

World would be a better place if more women were on leaders position. pKwj3
In this contemporary era, the perception towards working women has changed as compared to the past. Is it not a verifiable fact that an array of masses deem that more leaders seats will be reserved for women for the better running of the society? Basically, this is true phenomenon. As far as my paradigm is being concerned, I partially agree with this statement and I will justify my opinion in this piece of writing. To commence with the notion, why more women will be leaders? This is due to the fact that women have more patience and co-operation, even they adapt things easily. To demonstrate this, there is an epitome that, a survey conducted by Oxford University in England claimed that 70% of women did on act impulsively and in engage manner on risky situations, however they handle circumstances patiently, furthermore, there will be smooth running of the society in every field because of the patient nature of women. That is why majority of individuals are in favour of women. Shifting towards the ideology that nowadays the gender differences between make and female are disappearing as they are working shoulder to shoulder with men, no one can deny that the the percentage of men snd women on working sites are equal, consequently, giving more preference to women is unfair, equal opportunities should be given to both, their interpersonal skills should be top priority while recruiting a person for leader no matter either men or women, he or she will be choosed according to their abilities and skills. For instance, in schools equal chances are given to both the boys and girls to develop their skills or talent and to perform. To recapitulate, the aforementioned discussions boils down the fact that although, women have more patience, yet they both should be considered equally.
In this contemporary era, the perception towards working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as compared to the past. Is it not a verifiable fact that an array of masses
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "deems"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'deem' is not always incorrect.)
deem
that more leaders seats will
be reserved
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
for the better running of the society?
Basically
, this is true phenomenon. As far as my paradigm is
being concerned
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will justify my opinion in this piece of writing.

To commence with the notion, why more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will be leaders?
This is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have more patience and co-operation, even they adapt things
easily
. To demonstrate this, there is an epitome that, a survey conducted by Oxford University in England claimed that 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
did on act
impulsively
and in engage manner on risky situations,
however
they handle circumstances
patiently
,
furthermore
, there will be smooth running of the society in every field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the patient nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
That is
why majority of individuals are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of women.

Shifting towards the ideology that nowadays the gender differences between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and female are disappearing as they are working shoulder to shoulder with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, no one can deny that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Possible spelling mistake found.
snd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on working sites are equal,
consequently
, giving more preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is unfair, equal opportunities should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to both, their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should be top priority while recruiting a person for leader no matter either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, he or she will be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "chose", the past tense form of the verb 'choose'?
choosed
according to their abilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, in schools equal chances are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to both the boys and girls to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or talent and to perform.

To recapitulate, the aforementioned discussions boils down the fact that although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have more patience,
yet
they both should
be considered
equally
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay World would be a better place if more women were on leaders position.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    What will the typical home in 2025
    A house in 2050 will be a lot different from what it is today. First of all, the devices in the home will be more modern and touch-sensitive, which makes people's lives easier and more comfortable than before. For example, when returning home, it automatically senses that someone turns it on and off...
  • 5.5band
    to what extend do you agree that the Internet has had many bad effects on the society? Include reasons and any revelants
    Nowadays Internet is not a strange word again. Mostly everyone comprehends what the Internet is and how to use it. It has made our life easier, especially for people's jobs. However, it also has a number of negative consequences to the society. This essay would attemp to shed light on the primary ca...
  • 5.5band
    Disadvantages of internet
    Nowadays Internet is not a strange word again. Mostly everyone comprehends what the Internet is and how to use it. It has made our life easier, especially for people's jobs. However, it also has a number of negative consequences to the society. This essay would attemp to shed light on the primary ca...
  • 5.5band
    Many people around world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows
    Watching television is full of fun and entertainment which help to reduce the stress and burden of work section of fox around globe give their much free time at home for watching television shows for the essay will discuss the pros and cons of this notion highlighted in upcoming paragraph To commenc...
  • 5.5band
    it is ok to test on animals to make sure that humans will be safe or ok
    In my opinion, it is absolutely fine to test on animals and I believe that it is natural to test on animals. It is completely legal to experiment with cosmetics and drugs on animals such as mice because scientists have shown us that mouse gen match up to 98% with human genes. That the mouse is an a...
  • 5.5band
    The place you want explore
    There are many people who say that exploring places like mountains or oceans is very dangerous and should not be tried, but I don't really think so. I know there is a place that can both bring a sense of security and give us great experiences, which is Fansipan peak - a place that I also want to try...