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Working fo the same organization all working life of to work for different organization?

Working fo the same organization all working life of to work for different organization? DJPp
First of all, I would like to say that the most important thing regarding your working life is to have a job that you feel passionate about. It will not be worthy to work somewhere you don’t like or somewhere that doesn’t provide you the necessary skills to fulfill your dreams. Now, talking about the people who believe that working for the same organization is much better than changing jobs and organizations frequently, I agree with them at some point. Firstly and most importantly this is because working at the same organization can provide you more opportunities to grow and have better positions gradually. If you keep your job for that long, that means that you are doing it well. Also, this can improve your salary because you have been very loyal to the organization and that you are really committed with their mission and vision. Regarding the people who think that is better to work for different companies during all their working life, I also agree with you at some point. I believe this can give you different skills that maybe other organizations can’t give you. This can also make you a more flexible and tolerant person just because of the fact that you frequently move to different working environments with different people and rules. But be careful, chiefs of companies, by reading your resume and noticing that you have been working in different organizations for short periods of time, can interpret that you are not consistent and that maybe in less than a couple of years (if they decide to hire you), you can decide to leave the organization. So I believe that the two options are good ones, it just depends on what you’re looking for the future. In my personal view, if I find my dream job and while I’m happy working with that organization or company, it would be dumb to quit my job and go to work with some other company. When I was 17 years old, before entering to my undergraduate studies, I found my dream job which was to be a stage manager in a profesional musical of a professional theatre company. I’ve worked with them during 5 years till the moment I discovered that my passion wasn’t stage management, but to be a producer. Thats why I decided to work with a company that hired me as an Executive producer of all their productions and now I’m as happy as I was when I started working.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to say that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing regarding your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life is to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that you feel passionate about. It will not be worthy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
somewhere you don’t like or somewhere that doesn’t provide you the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to fulfill your dreams.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, talking about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
is much better than changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
frequently
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point.
Firstly
and most
importantly
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
can provide you more opportunities to grow and have better positions
gradually
. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for that long, that means that you are doing it well.
Also
, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
loyal to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
and that you are
really
committed with their mission and vision.

Regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
during all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with you at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point. I believe this can give you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that maybe other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
can’t give you. This can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you a more flexible and tolerant person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
you
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environments with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
be careful, chiefs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, by reading your resume and noticing that you have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
for short periods of time, can interpret that you are not consistent and that maybe in less than a couple of years (if they decide to hire you), you can decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the organization.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I believe that the two options are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ones, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
depends on what you’re looking for the future. In my personal view, if I find my dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and while I’m happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, it would be dumb to quit my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. When I was 17 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering to my undergraduate studies, I found my dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which was to be a stage manager in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
profesional
musical of a professional
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. I’ve worked with them during 5 years till the moment I discovered that my passion wasn’t stage management,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to be a producer.
Possible spelling mistake found
Thats
why I decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that hired me as an Executive producer of all their productions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I’m as happy as I was when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
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IELTS essay Working fo the same organization all working life of to work for different organization?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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