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Do you agree or disagree? Working at home using computer and telephone is better than working in an office.

Working at home using computer and telephone is better than working in an office. 15bpG
To be honest, I always regard office as a place that keeps people within bounds. Compared to the office, working at home seems much more comfortable. Neither need you to work in cubicle nor waste unnecessarily time on the way to work. Therefore, from my perspective, working at home definitely outweighs working in office. First of all, working at homes saves you much of time on the way and keeps you away from the aggravation of the morning and evening traffic. Take myself as an example. In order to get office on time, I have to get up 6 o'clock in the morning so that I am able to catch the. . .
To be honest, I always regard office as a place that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
within bounds. Compared to the office,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home seems much more comfortable. Neither need you to work in cubicle nor waste
unnecessarily
time on the way to work.
Therefore
, from my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home definitely outweighs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in office.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at homes saves you much of time on the way and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you away from the aggravation of the morning and evening traffic. Take myself as an example. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
office on time, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up 6 o'clock in the morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I am able to catch
Did you forget something after 'the'?
the.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.

IELTS essay Working at home using computer and telephone is better than working in an office.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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