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D/A: The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves.

D/A: The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves. 9LBM3
Modern art rarely surprises us anymore. The idea that modern artists should be admired all over the world and even be supported by the government is mistaken. As far as I'm concerned, unlike the past, artist nowadays are fully capable of self-reliance. Besides, they make little contribution to the society. Most of their works are of low quality since they only care to meet the mass culture. Therefore, there is no reason for government to pay the heavy price for them. My arguments for this point are listed as follows. First of all, it is generally accepted that more and more artists today co. . .
Modern art rarely surprises us anymore. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that modern artists should
be admired
all over the world and even
be supported
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is mistaken
. As far as I'm concerned, unlike the past, artist nowadays are
fully
capable of self-reliance.
Besides
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
contribution to the society. Most of their works are of low quality since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the mass culture.
Therefore
, there is no reason for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to pay the heavy price for them. My arguments for this point
are listed
as follows.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that more and more artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
co.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay D/A: The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
106 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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