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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contest.

Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contest. 85Grr
It seems to be an indisputable fact that the main reason for children playing sports today is for competition not for fun. Faced with such unreasonable phenomenon, I can’t help wondering is it really for children’s own good? Considering the formation of children’s personality and happiness it brings, I strongly agree with the statement that children should only play sports for fun not competition. The main reason for my propensity is that nothing can match the sports for the happiness it brings. When playing the football games, you are able to show off your shooting ability, scoring f. . .
It seems to be an indisputable fact that the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
playing sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is for competition not for fun. Faced with such unreasonable phenomenon, I can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
wondering is it
really
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
? Considering the formation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
personality and happiness it brings, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
play sports for fun not competition.

The main reason for my propensity is that nothing can match the sports for the happiness it brings. When playing the football games, you are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off your shooting ability, scoring f.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contest.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
100 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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