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Workers would be more satisfied if they have various kinds of work to do during workday instead of doing the same job all day long

Workers would be more satisfied if they have various kinds of work to do during workday instead of doing the same job all day long e5w9G
In the world of globalization and modernization, work is a very crucial as it gives joy and prestige to us. Some people may say that workers would be more satisfied if they have same work and others prefer to have various kinds of work to do during workday. From my vintage point, I would prefer to do various works during my workday. I would like to discuss few reasons for it. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that worker gets chance to learn different activity. When people have same work over several days, eventually them become master of that task. Everyone has a saturation lev. . .
In the world of globalization and modernization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial as it gives joy and prestige to us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may say that workers would be more satisfied if they have same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
prefer to have various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to do during workday. From my
Did you mean "vantage point"?
vintage point
, I would prefer to do various works during my workday. I would like to discuss few reasons for it.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that worker
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
chance to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activity. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
over several days,
eventually
them become master of that task. Everyone has a saturation
Possible spelling mistake found.
lev
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Workers would be more satisfied if they have various kinds of work to do during workday instead of doing the same job all day long

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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