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Urban areas are witnessing an increase in obesity among children What are reasons Suggest some solutions

Urban areas are witnessing an increase in obesity among children What are reasons Suggest some solutions aw7eY
In recent years, rise in the number of overweight children has been noticed. The problem is clearly seen in the urban areas that children are putting weight at an early age which has large number of problems related to personal life and health. This essay provides the reasons behind increasing number of obese children and recommends the efforts required to curb this problem as well. To begin with, there are several reasons contributing in widespread of obesity among young children but the most important one is lack of physical exercise. To explain, today due to urbanization the open space and playgrounds have vanished. So, there is no opportunity for children to play outside or outdoors. This leads to more children are inclined towards playing computer games and watching television that results in severe problems like obesity and diabetes. Yet another factor of shortage of outdoor activities is the prolonged working and study hours, as with the burden of heavy curriculum, children find it difficult to spare time for games or sports which intensify the problem. Moreover, poor food habits in this hectic life are culprit of inclining child obesity rates. For example, kids today prefer to eat fast food like burger, pizza and soft drinks. These are high in calorie and loaded with synthetic chemicals that have bad effect on health. Parents are giving such food due to lack of time. However, to control this menace, little efforts from parents and government are needed. First of all, children must be provided enough time to play outdoors and parents must encourage children to participate in sports. Such activities are physically demanding and are healthy for growing children. Furthermore, children must be nourished with healthy diet and fast food consumption should be discouraged. Apart from this, government should provide adequate facilities to each city like sports club, parks, playgrounds so that children get opportunity to involve in healthy activities. Overall, it is seen that the reasons for obesity lie in the life style of people. It is possible to control this effectively with combined efforts of people and government.
In recent years, rise in the number of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
been noticed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the urban areas that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are putting weight at an early age which has large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to personal life and health. This essay provides the reasons behind increasing number of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and recommends the efforts required to curb this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons contributing in widespread of obesity among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is lack of physical exercise. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
due to urbanization the open space and playgrounds have vanished.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play outside or outdoors. This leads to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are inclined
towards playing computer games and watching television that results in severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like obesity and diabetes.
Yet
another factor of shortage of outdoor activities is the prolonged working and study hours, as with the burden of heavy curriculum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
find it difficult to spare time for games or sports which intensify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Moreover
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits in this hectic life are culprit of inclining child obesity rates.
For example
, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
prefer to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like burger, pizza and soft drinks. These are high in calorie and loaded with synthetic chemicals that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on health. Parents are giving such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to lack of time.

However
, to control this menace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
efforts from parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are needed
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to play outdoors and parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in sports. Such activities are
physically
demanding and are healthy for growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be nourished
with healthy diet and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption should
be discouraged
. Apart from this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide adequate facilities to each city like sports club, parks, playgrounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to involve in healthy activities.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the reasons for obesity lie in the life style of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It is possible to control this
effectively
with combined efforts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Urban areas are witnessing an increase in obesity among children What are reasons Suggest some solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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