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Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want.

Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want. pb6k2
The retirement age of workers is around 60 to 65, after which they are not allowed to work professionally. However, it is argued by a few people that workers should be allowed to work after retirement. However, there is an advantage like experience but there are several drawbacks which include adapting to new technology and high work efficiency. On the one hand, the world is changing with advanced technologies which are implemented in various industries. Young people can work with these new technologies effectively than old ones because young workers have enormous knowledge in adapting new skills. For instance, retired people find it difficult to deal with computers and smartphones. Nevertheless, younger ones can operate machines at an ease. Hence, it is better to not allow retired workers to continue working for as long as they want. Firstly, work efficiency will be high when there are middle-aged workers than old-aged. However, old people have tremendous experience but lack in the speed of work and can not withstand the physical strength of young. For instance, if an old person works as a labor in the transportation industry where he has to carry huge bags, this reduces work efficiency. Secondly, this may not be healthy for retired workers. Hence, it is advised the workers not to work after their age is above 60 or 65. In conclusion, workers should not be allowed to work after the age of 60 or 65, because this leads to problems for them as well as for the working place. However, government and industries should provide pensions to support them.
The retirement age of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
is around 60 to 65, after which they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
professionally
.
However
, it
is argued
by a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after retirement.
However
, there is an advantage like experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are several drawbacks which include adapting to new technology and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiency.

On the one hand, the world is changing with advanced technologies which
are implemented
in various industries. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with these new technologies
Use "(effectively)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
effectively
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
have enormous knowledge in adapting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it difficult to deal with computers and smartphones.
Nevertheless
, younger ones can operate machines at an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
Hence
, it is better to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to continue working for as long as they want.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiency will be high when there are middle-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-aged.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have tremendous experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lack in the speed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and can not withstand the physical strength of young.
For instance
, if an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
person works as a labor in the transportation industry where he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
carry huge bags, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiency.
Secondly
, this may not be healthy for retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
Hence
, it
is advised
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after their age is above 60 or 65.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after the age of 60 or 65,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this leads to problems for them
as well
as for the working place.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and industries should provide pensions to support them.
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IELTS essay Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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