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Work Less and Have More Leisure Time

Work Less and Have More Leisure Time m225L
Nowaday, having timesaving devices in our home is not a new thing any longer. Time saving devices are devices which help people work faster, save time or even replace human strength. Despite the help of timesaving devicesm people now work harder and longer. I myself think that it would be better for people to work less and have more leisure time. First, working less and have more leisure time are good for health and mind. Timesaving devices help people to work less, so they have more leisure time. With these times, they can relax with many activities such as going out, playing games, . . Therefore, they can avoid stress and refresh their mind. The leisure times not only help them feel more comfortable but also increase their knowledge and open their mind from news, books, travelling. Moreover, they can use those time for health by playing sports, doing exercises, . . . Leisure time form working less also help people have a happy family. They have more time to take care of their family, to teach the children. Having more leisure time from timesaving devices, they must not worry about their time, so they do not become angry with other people and they can understand more about their family
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Nowaday
, having
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timesaving
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devices
in our home is not a new thing any longer.
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Time
saving
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devices
are
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devices
which
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help
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people
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work
faster, save
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time
or even replace human strength. Despite the
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help
of
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timesaving
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devicesm
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people
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now
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work
harder and longer. I myself
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think
that it would be better for
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people
to
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work
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less
and have more
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leisure
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time
.
First
, working
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less
and have more
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leisure
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time
are
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good
for health and mind.
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Timesaving
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devices
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help
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people
to
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work
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less
,
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so
they have more
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leisure
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time
. With these
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times
, they can relax with
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many
activities such as going out, playing games
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, .
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.
Therefore
, they can avoid
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stress
and refresh their mind. The
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leisure
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times
not
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only
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help
them feel more comfortable
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but
also
increase their knowledge and open their mind from news, books, travelling.
Moreover
, they can
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use
those
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time
for health by playing sports, doing exercises
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leisure
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time
form working
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less
also
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a happy family. They have more
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time
to take care of their family, to teach the children. Having more
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leisure
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time
from
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timesaving
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devices
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not worry about their
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time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not become angry with other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they can understand more about their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
family
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IELTS essay Work Less and Have More Leisure Time

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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