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: Despite many timesaving devices in our homes,people today are working harder and longer. Explain whether it would be better for people to work less and have more leisure time.

: Despite many timesaving devices in our homes, people today are working harder and longer. Explain whether it would be better for people to work less and have more leisure time. m22DL
Today, having timesaving devices in our home is not a new thing any longer. Timesaving devices are devices which help people work faster, save time or even replace human strength. Despite the help of timesaving devices, people now work harder and longer. I myself think that it would be better for people to work less and have more leisure time. First, working less and have more leisure time are good for health and mind of people. Timesaving devices help people to work less, so they have more leisure time. With these times, they can relax with many activities such as going out, meeting friends, playing games, listening to music, reading, watching TV, etc. Therefore, they can avoid stress and refresh their mind. The leisure times not only help them feel more comfortable but also increase their knowledge and open their mind from news, books, traveling. Moreover, they can use those time for their health by playing sport, doing exercises, going to gym clubs, eating and sleeping enough. Leisure time from working less also help people have a happy family. They have more time to take care of their family, to teach the children. They have more time to talk, share their story or play together so that they can understand more about their family. But, if they use their leisure time to work harder and longer, they can get problem like sick, stress, etc. It is not things which they want. It is unhappy and unsatisfied life. I believe that with timesaving devices in their house, it is better for people to work less and have more leisure time than work harder and longer. Working harder and longer is not good for their health and they can make people to get stress easily. If people try to work harder and longer, they may have unhealthy and tired life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, having
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timesaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
in our home is not a new thing any
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longer
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Timesaving
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devices
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
which
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
faster, save
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time
or even replace human strength. Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
timesaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
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work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
and
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longer
. I myself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would be better for
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people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
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less
and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
time.

First
, working
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less
and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health and mind of
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people
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Timesaving
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devices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
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people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have more
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leisure
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time
. With these
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times
, they can relax with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities such as going out, meeting friends, playing games, listening to music, reading, watching TV, etc.
Therefore
, they can avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and refresh their mind. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
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times
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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help
them feel more comfortable
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but
also
increase their knowledge and open their mind from news, books, traveling.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those
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time
for their health by playing sport, doing exercises, going to gym clubs, eating and sleeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Leisure
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time
from working
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less
also
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help
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people
have a happy family. They have more
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time
to take care of their family, to teach the children. They have more
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time
to talk, share their story or play together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can understand more about their family.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
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leisure
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time
to
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work
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harder
and
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longer
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
problem like sick,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, etc. It is not things which they want. It is unhappy and unsatisfied life. I believe that with
Possible spelling mistake found.
timesaving
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devices
in their
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house
, it is better for
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people
to
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work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
and
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longer
. Working
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harder
and
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longer
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
easily
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
, they may have unhealthy and tired life.
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IELTS essay : Despite many timesaving devices in our homes, people today are working harder and longer. Explain whether it would be better for people to work less and have more leisure time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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