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Work is more important than leisure. Discuss and give your opinion.

Work is more important than leisure. Discuss and give your opinion. wKEMr
The question of prioritising career over free time has been widely discussed recently. Both have an important place in our life, and balancing between them has become very challenging in the modern world, especially with an increased pace of life. I am convinced that working and resting are equally vital for happy existence. In this essay, I am going to discuss the statement, and support all the agruments favouring balance with relevant examples. First of all, we cannot always put work before leisure because it is impossible to keep a constant effciency without rest. For example, a number of scientific and physcological surveys have already comfired that fewer working days increase the workers' performance. According to the Pareto rule, it is not necessary to work all the time to achieve 80% of result. In any case, an employee who does not relax enough from work will most probably hate the process and avoid doing it right. People who place job first are more likely to have a stress and burn-outs that gradually damages the mental health of individual. For instance, few directors of top UK companies reliase that mental resources are similar to physical stamina, that recovers only after proper rest. Important to understand that leisure itself is a kind of recovery for brain. Therefore, leisure time is essential part of a person day together with sleep, meal and sport. In conclusion, the work and leissure conflict in everyday's life is worth a carefull consideration. Even though that leisure should not dominate the career, a balance is required for the proper life.
The question of
prioritising
career over free time has been
widely
discussed recently. Both have an
important
place in our
life
, and balancing between them has become
very
challenging in the modern world,
especially
with an increased pace of
life
. I
am convinced
that working and resting are
equally
vital for happy existence. In this essay, I am going to discuss the statement, and support all the
agruments
favouring
balance with relevant examples.

First of all
, we cannot always put
work
before
leisure
because
it is impossible to
keep
a constant
effciency
without rest.
For example
, a number of scientific and
physcological
surveys have already
comfired
that fewer working days increase the workers' performance. According to the Pareto
rule
, it is not necessary to
work
all the time to achieve 80% of result. In any case, an employee who does not relax
enough
from
work
will most
probably
hate the process and avoid doing it right.

People
who place job
first
are more likely to have a
stress
and burn-outs that
gradually
damages the mental health of individual.
For instance
, few directors of top UK
companies
reliase
that mental resources are similar to physical stamina, that recovers
only
after proper rest.
Important
to understand that
leisure
itself is a kind of recovery for brain.
Therefore
,
leisure
time is essential part of a person day together with sleep, meal and sport.

In conclusion
, the
work
and
leissure
conflict in
everyday
's
life
is worth a
carefull
consideration.
Even though
that
leisure
should not dominate the career, a balance
is required
for the proper
life
.
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IELTS essay Work is more important than leisure. Discuss and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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