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Some people believe the climate has greatest effect on people's way of life. Others believe economy of region has the greatest effect.

Some people believe the climate has greatest effect on people's way of life. Others believe economy of region has the greatest effect. K0dd0
There is little room for doubt that weather conditions has detrimental impact on lifestyle of individuals while other opponents reckon that economy of country has huge effect. Careful consideration to both ideas reveals that latter idea is more appropriate but this essay intends to justify both views in forth-coming paragraphs. To embark with, some folks hold a notion that climate has worse effects on way of living of mankind for several reasons than, primarily, unhealthy population is more effected by worse weather conditions. Heavy rains effects lifestyle of poor citizens as whenever it rains heavily people not living under well - cemented roof face worse conditions, moreover, sometimes their homes are wrecked because of fragile roofs. Therefore, weather conditions has impact on lifestyle of poor people. On the other hand, other opponents believe that economy of region has greatest effect on people's living. Mainly developing countries have low economy and this leads to unemployment. Particular nations has less access to technology due to that they provide less job opportunities to population. Hence, this put great impact on lifestyle of people. To conclude, some say that climate has impact on living way of mankind whereas others think that economy of region puts effect. In my opinion, not only climate has impact on lifestyle of people but also economy of region has effect.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
room for doubt that weather conditions has detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of individuals while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opponents reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of country has huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
. Careful consideration to both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
reveals that latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is more appropriate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this essay intends to justify both views in forth-coming paragraphs.

To embark with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks hold a notion that climate has worse effects on way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
of mankind for several reasons than,
primarily
, unhealthy population is more effected by worse weather conditions. Heavy rains effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of poor citizens as whenever it rains
heavily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
under well
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
cemented roof face worse conditions,
moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
their homes
are wrecked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fragile roofs.
Therefore
, weather conditions has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opponents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of region has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the greatest".
greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
Mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
have low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and this leads to unemployment. Particular nations has less access to technology due to that they provide less job opportunities to population.
Hence
, this put great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that climate has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
way of mankind whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of region puts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
. In my opinion, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
climate has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of region has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the climate has greatest effect on people's way of life. Others believe economy of region has the greatest effect.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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