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Many people say that going to university after finish high school is the best way to be successful. To what extent do you agree?

Many people say that going to university after finish high school is the best way to be successful. 0M9a1
Nowadays, many people say that after senior high school graduation going to college is easily to extremely prosperous. I partly agree with this ideas and I will prove my opinion in this essay. On the one hand, I agree that going to university will easily have a good future. The first reason is that when students post graduate, they get a degree and they easily apply to employers. As a result, they can have well – paid jobs and stable salaries even a high level of income. Moreover, the quality of life has been improved. They can feel a happy and comfortable life. On the other hand, I disagree that not only going to university can be prosperous but also have many ways to successful. Firstly, many people have a passion for start – up so they did not going to college. They are determined to follow their passion and they are successful. For example, Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard University and he prosperous. In addition, although going to university is an easily way to successful, it is not only.
Nowadays,
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that after senior high school graduation going to college is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
to
extremely
prosperous. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Did you mean "these"?
this
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ideas
and I will prove my opinion in this essay.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
future. The
first
reason is that when students post graduate, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
degree and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
apply to employers.
As a result
, they can have well
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
paid jobs and stable salaries even a high level of income.
Moreover
, the quality of life has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. They can feel a happy and comfortable life.

On the other hand
, I disagree that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can be prosperous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to successful.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a passion for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they did not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "go"?
going
to college. They
are determined
to follow their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
passion and
they are successful.
For example
, Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
University and
It seems that a verb is missing after "he". Please verify.
he
prosperous.

In addition
, although going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is an
You used an adverb ('easily') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('way') instead of another adjective.
easily way
to successful, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
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IELTS essay Many people say that going to university after finish high school is the best way to be successful.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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