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Work is more important than leisure. Do you agree or disagree?

Work is more important than leisure. BJ7Wp
Some people regard their work as the most important aspects in life and have little interest in anything else, while others are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. I would argue that recration is mope essential for life. On the one hand, workaholics are likely to be successful in life. It is believed that people have to allocate all of their time to work due to the fact that they can acquire great experience during working and also generate sufficient revenue for their life. Some people take a second job or do extra work to supplement their salary as each person has greater responsibility. To illustrate when a person is a family man, he needs to have a house, a car, protect family financially, and also care parents when they are older. All this requires a lot of income and hard work On the other hand, the majority of people conceive that workers should have entertainment, moreover working. For one, life with its responsibilities is stressful enough, and without hobbies to look forward to at the end of grueling working days makes one even more stressed out, which in serious cases could result in depression. Furthermore, many succeed in making use of their skills and interests and turn them into lucrative remote side careers. With a photography hobby, for instance, one can start their business and seek their clients as a photographer. Meanwhile, a lot of categories fit into an art hobby, like graphic design, painting, and drawing. Hence, they can take Art Models or Production Artists into consideration. All in all, pursuing a hobby could yield many far-reaching benefits compared to excessive working. In conclusion, it is essential to develop career and working hard, even though I believe that it is better to appreciate leisure, according to tha fact that it can be as productive as pleasant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard their work as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest in anything else, while others are more enthusiastic about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and leisure interests than their jobs. I would argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
recration
is mope essential for life.

On the one hand, workaholics are likely to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
allocate all of their time to work due to the fact that they can acquire great experience during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
also
generate sufficient revenue for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a second job or do extra work to supplement their salary as each person has greater responsibility. To illustrate when a person is a family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, he needs to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, a car, protect family
financially
, and
also
care parents when they are older. All this requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work


On the other hand
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
conceive that workers should have entertainment,
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. For one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with its responsibilities is stressful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, and without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
to look forward to at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of grueling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one even more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out, which in serious cases could result in depression.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
succeed in making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and interests and turn them into lucrative remote side careers. With a photography
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
,
for instance
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their business and seek their clients as a photographer. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
categories fit into an art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
, like graphic design, painting, and drawing.
Hence
, they can take Art Models or Production Artists into consideration. All in all, pursuing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
could yield
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
far-reaching benefits compared to excessive working.

In conclusion
, it is essential to develop career and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
even though
I believe that it is better to appreciate leisure, according to
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
fact that it can be as productive as pleasant
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IELTS essay Work is more important than leisure.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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