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Work advantage and disadvantage .part time job

Work advantage and disadvantage. part time job wxB8Y
This is currently contentious argument whether the children perform part time job after school instead of pass their time in relaxation. In my opinion, spare time job is not good for the students. Firstly, a numerous people have confidence in part time job is necessary. The reason is that, few middle class families are not able to engage the fee of their children. The school, Universities and acadmeis have a lot of expenses. The books are sold on very high prices in now a days. Consequently, if the student get the suitable job then he is able to bear their expenses. On the other hand. some people think that parents do not divert the mind of children towards the work. It is because the student/child can not properly focus the studies as well as he wasted their time In useless things. Furthermore, study is most important. In conclusion, it is not appropriate for the children to do a part time job. It is badly effected the mind of youngster. They need to complete their study and get a proper job.
This is
currently
contentious argument whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
perform part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after school
instead
of pass their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in relaxation. In my opinion, spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the students.
Firstly
, a numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have confidence in part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is necessary. The reason is that, few middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families are not able to engage the fee of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The school, Universities and
Possible spelling mistake found.
acadmeis
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expenses.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
books
are sold
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high prices in
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
.
Consequently
, if the student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then he is able to bear their expenses.
On the other hand
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that parents do not divert the mind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
towards the work. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the student/child can not
properly
focus the studies
as well
as he wasted their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
In useless things.
Furthermore
, study is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
In conclusion
, it is not appropriate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do a part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is
Did you mean "badly affected"?
badly effected
the mind of youngster. They need to complete their study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.

IELTS essay Work advantage and disadvantage. part time job

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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