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women should focus to raise children and should not go for work

women should focus to raise children and should not go for work 9XdX
There is no exaggeration in saying that women are integral part of our society. It is considered that females should look after their infants as they have acquired excellent skills as compared to males, therefore, they should put less emphasis on work. I am partially agreed with this notion. This essay will consider both viewpoints followed by concrete conclusion. To commence with, there are multifarious reasons why an aforementioned prospective is conducive. First and foremost, it would be fruitful for the children since in materialism world, both parents have hectic schedule which lead to bad rapport among parents and alums. Consequently, they resort to other resources in the absence of their mothers. In support to this, a survey has revealed that the salient cause of apprehension in children is less interaction between parents and pupils. So, it is good idea for girls as it promotes less anxiety among offspring. On the flip side, I would also advocate those contradict this allegation. It is custom that father is only a breadwinner for family which is a negative development as it deteriorate the position of females in society which lead to discrimination on basis of gender. Therefore, mothers should break stereotype as well as males should also exhort them not to remain in the shackle which can bring benefits for whole family. In conclusion, there are plethora of merits and demerits of staying at home for girls. On the contrary, as my perception, women should not only go for work but also contribute in raising juveniles.
There is no exaggeration in saying that women are integral part of our society. It
is considered
that females should look after their infants as they have acquired excellent
skills
as compared to males,
therefore
, they should put less emphasis on work. I am
partially
agreed
with this notion. This essay will consider both viewpoints followed by concrete conclusion.

To commence with, there are multifarious reasons why an aforementioned prospective is conducive.
First
and foremost, it would be fruitful for the children since in materialism world, both parents have hectic schedule which lead to
bad
rapport among parents and alums.
Consequently
, they resort to other resources in the absence of their mothers. In support to this, a survey has revealed that the salient cause of apprehension in children is less interaction between parents and pupils.
So
, it is
good
idea
for girls as it promotes less anxiety among offspring.

On the flip side, I would
also
advocate those contradict this allegation. It is custom that father is
only
a breadwinner for family which is a
negative
development as it deteriorate the position of females in society which lead to discrimination on basis of gender.
Therefore
, mothers should break stereotype
as well
as males should
also
exhort them not to remain in the shackle which can bring benefits for whole family.

In conclusion
, there are plethora of merits and demerits of staying at home for girls.
On the contrary
, as my perception, women should not
only
go for work
but
also
contribute in raising juveniles.
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IELTS essay women should focus to raise children and should not go for work

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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