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in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if try hard enough.

in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if try hard enough. JjBa
In some cultures, people advise their children to hard work with the aim of achieving their goals. Although this messages bring about high creativity and encouraged them to gain desires, they may be high expected and can give rise to depression. This essay will be pointed both the positive and negative aspects of this argument. On the plus side, the rewarding for children who receive this message are manifold. What impact on kids is their upbringing as they are susceptible to anything in their formative ages. If they had been taught hardworking, they will be together with it until they grow up. Take German schools, which students were under pressure after finishing World War II, as an example; they had been encouraged to use their aptitudes. Not only does it make students versatile, but it also helps them to achieve their aims. Moreover, it is believe that the more hardworking they are, the more creative person they become. However, the downsides cannot be ignored, there are obvious disadvantages. Firstly, sometimes based on social orders children would not follow their dreams. There would be dire consequences when they cannot access to their targets. For instance, isolation, alienation, losing sprit would be contribute factors to aggression behaviors. Secondly, some goals are not reasonable, so off springs are bound to disappointed person. To conclude, in some nations, kids are brought up with this thought which everybody can gain anything if they persist on. As can be seen from the points made in this essay although this message would be followed by personality crisis, there are more beneficial with this background mentality.
In
some
cultures,
people
advise their children to
hard
work with the aim of achieving their goals. Although this messages bring about high creativity and encouraged them to gain desires, they may be high
expected
and can give rise to depression. This essay will
be pointed
both the
positive
and
negative
aspects of this argument.

On the plus side, the rewarding for children who receive this message are manifold. What impact on kids is their upbringing as they are susceptible to anything in their formative ages. If they had
been taught
hardworking, they will be together with it until they grow up. Take German schools, which students were under pressure after finishing World War II, as an example; they had
been encouraged
to
use
their aptitudes. Not
only
does it
make
students versatile,
but
it
also
helps
them to achieve their aims.
Moreover
, it is
believe
that the more hardworking they are, the more creative person they become.

However
, the downsides cannot be
ignored
, there are obvious disadvantages.
Firstly
,
sometimes
based on social orders children would not follow their dreams. There would be dire consequences when they cannot access to their targets.
For instance
, isolation, alienation, losing
sprit
would be
contribute
factors to aggression behaviors.
Secondly
,
some
goals are not reasonable,
so
off springs
are bound
to disappointed person.

To conclude
, in
some
nations, kids
are brought
up with this
thought
which everybody can gain anything if they persist on. As can be
seen
from the points made in this essay although this message would
be followed
by personality crisis, there are more beneficial with this background mentality.
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IELTS essay in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if try hard enough.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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