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Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, think that life of elderly in the modern world is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, think that life of elderly in the modern world is much better than it was in the past. 7Xb5
Getting older is an unavoidable part of a cycle in life. Getting older may be a form of suffering for some people as when they get older there will be a lot of deterioration in every aspect of their life. That is why people nowadays try to find a way to improve the life of the elder. Technology advancements are one of the creations by modern society that improves elder’s life. However, modern society should pay with the declining attitude of a young adult towards older adult. This essay will take a look at how it feels to be elderly in modern society. Technology is one of the products by modern society that improves elderly lives in every aspect. As people's productivity is declining as they are getting older, they often get a hard time getting in touch with their peers. However, modern society has solved this problem by creating technology that can get people in touch more easily. For instance, many elders can get in touch with their peers and family through the assistance of video calls. With video calls, they can get more proximity with others. Moreover, Technology and science advancements have also provided better health to society. With science progress to improve people’s lifespan, the elders are no longer need to worry too much about their health as in the past. On the other hand, society is pushing to make a better quality of life. It led to more competition and people are more laborious in today’s world. Consequently, young adults are more ignorant and individualistic than ever before. They may lose their attention towards elder people as elder people are not related to them. This may lead to loneliness and social isolation by the elderly and it can cause the decline of mental health and possible chronic health problem. To sum up, Although modern society has made a better world for elder people, we still need to pay attention to our relationship quality towards elder people. Taking up responsibilities and the attitude towards elder should not be ignored in this modern society
Getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
is an unavoidable part of a cycle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
may be a form of suffering for

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
as when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
deterioration in every aspect of their

life.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays try to find a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
. Technology

advancements are one of the creations by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
,

modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should pay with the declining attitude of a young adult towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
adult. This

essay will take a look at how it feels to be elderly in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society.

Technology is one of the products by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improves
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in every aspect.

As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's productivity is declining as they are getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time getting

in touch with their peers.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has solved this problem by creating

technology that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in touch more
easily
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch

with their peers and family through the assistance of video calls. With video calls, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get


more proximity with others.
Moreover
, Technology and science advancements have
also


provided better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. With science progress to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifespan, the elders

are no longer need to worry too much about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as in the past.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is pushing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It led to more competition

and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more laborious in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
Consequently
, young adults are more ignorant

and individualistic than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. They may lose their attention towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as elder

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not related to them. This may lead to loneliness and social isolation by the elderly

and it can cause the decline of mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and possible chronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem.

To sum up, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has made a better world for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, we
still
need to

pay attention to our relationship quality towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Taking up responsibilities and the

attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society
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IELTS essay Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, think that life of elderly in the modern world is much better than it was in the past.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, think that life of elderly in the modern world is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your opinion.