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Women empowerment. Comment on the topic.

Women empowerment. Comment on the topic. Bjl6
As we indulged in the criminal negligence and delay of empowering the girls and women, the results have been rather disastrous. Fortunately we are now learning a lesson. There are 12 million girls born in India every year but will you believe that just one third of the really survive. This is because of many of the girls are killed in the womb and some die due to malnutrition. This he should not happened, discrimination of any kind against the girl child can't be tolerated anymore. we should empower them, we should give them equal rights and opportunities education is the key to success and progress. Let there be hundred percent literacy among girls.
As we indulged in the criminal negligence and delay of empowering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and women, the results have been
rather
disastrous.
Fortunately
we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
learning a lesson. There are 12 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
born in India every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will you believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one third of the
really
survive. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are killed
in the womb and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to malnutrition. This he should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "happen"
happened
, discrimination of any kind against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
child can't
be tolerated
anymore.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
should empower them, we should give them equal rights and opportunities education is the key to success and progress.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
there be
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent literacy among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
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IELTS essay Women empowerment. Comment on the topic.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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