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Women employment rate in freedonia

Women employment rate in freedonia pLP7m
Between 1975 and 1995, there were valid changes in the numbers of male and female workers in Freedonia in manufacturing, communications, finance/banking, wholesale & retail trade, public sector (non-defence), and (defense). In 1975, women overtook the men in the communications sector; twenty years later, women’s rate rose from 250, 000 to 550, 000. In the wholesale & retail sector, in 1975, women’s rate increased from 550, 000 to 825, 000. The number of men in both sectors remained unchanged. During 1975, the numbers of women were still flat compared to the men’s rate. In 1995, the women’s rate in the public sector (defense) went up from 25, 000 to 125, 000. Finance/banking, increased from 175, 000 to 425, 000. Two sectors that remained stable were 300, 000 women and 650, 000 men worked in manufacturing in 1975 to 1995, and 650, 000 women and 850, 000 men in the public sector (non-defence). In conclusion, women appear to achieve much more in the Freedonian workforce, although there are some minor areas, which women have not gained as much as men. Finance/banking and the public sector (defense) are good testaments.
Between 1975 and 1995, there were valid
changes
in the numbers of male and female workers in
Freedonia
in manufacturing, communications, finance/banking, wholesale & retail trade,
public
sector
(
non-defence
), and (defense).

In 1975,
women
overtook the
men
in the communications
sector
; twenty years later,
women’s
rate
rose from 250, 000 to 550, 000. In the wholesale & retail
sector
, in 1975,
women’s
rate
increased from 550, 000 to 825, 000. The number of
men
in both
sectors
remained unchanged.

During 1975, the numbers of
women
were
still
flat compared to the
men’s
rate
. In 1995, the
women’s
rate
in the
public
sector
(defense) went up from 25, 000 to 125, 000. Finance/banking, increased from 175, 000 to 425, 000. Two
sectors
that remained stable were 300, 000
women
and 650, 000
men
worked in manufacturing in 1975 to 1995, and 650, 000
women
and 850, 000
men
in the
public
sector
(
non-defence
).

In conclusion
,
women
appear to achieve much more in the
Freedonian
workforce, although there are
some
minor areas, which
women
have not gained as much as
men
. Finance/banking and the
public
sector
(defense) are
good
testaments.
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IELTS essay Women employment rate in freedonia

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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