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More and more people are now using computers for educational purposes and entertainment. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

More and more people are now using computers for educational purposes and entertainment. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages? 2r30M
An increasingly number of people are using computers for educational determinations and entertainment. While there are some drwawbacks of this trend, i would argue that it has more benifits On the one and, working with computers can be drawbacks in some ways. Primiarly, due to the high exposure to UV rays through electronic divices, which may leads to eye proplems occurring to people. For example, studying or working through computers can cause more severe shortsightedness or dryeye syndrome. In addition, speding too much time on computer for entertainment, we may be addicted and lost interest in real life as well as. Moreover, this will have a detrimental influence on their future if they depend on the virtual world On the other hand, i believe that the potential benifits of needing computers are more significant. Firstly, because of the global epidemic that students and adults have difficultly going to school or work. This leads to human need the help of electronic devices to complete unfinished jobs and studies. Secondly, due to many people who are stressed with work, which results in they use computers for mental health care. For example, we often watch movies, listen to music or even play games to feel more comfortable. Finally, children who learn online are more easily attracted by the sounds or images in educational computer promgrams. Since, they have a quick acquisiition of knowledge. In conclusion, while using computers has several disadvantages, im in a favor of the idea that its advantages are greater
An
increasingly number
of
people
are using computers for educational determinations and entertainment. While there are
some
drwawbacks
of this trend,
i
would argue that it has more
benifits


On the one and, working with computers can be drawbacks in
some
ways.
Primiarly
, due to the high exposure to UV rays through electronic
divices
, which may leads to eye
proplems
occurring to
people
.
For example
, studying or working through computers can cause more severe shortsightedness or
dryeye
syndrome.
In addition
,
speding
too much time on computer for entertainment, we may
be addicted
and lost interest in real life
as well
as.
Moreover
, this will have a detrimental influence on their future if they depend on the virtual world

On the other hand
,
i
believe that the potential
benifits
of needing computers are more significant.
Firstly
,
because
of the global epidemic that students and adults have
difficultly
going to school or work. This leads to human need the
help
of electronic devices to complete unfinished jobs and studies.
Secondly
, due to
many
people
who are
stressed
with work, which results in they
use
computers for mental health care.
For example
, we
often
watch
movies, listen to music or even play games to feel more comfortable.
Finally
, children who learn online are more
easily
attracted by the sounds or images in educational computer
promgrams
.
Since
, they have a quick
acquisiition
of knowledge.

In conclusion
, while using computers has several disadvantages,
im
in a favor of the
idea
that its advantages are greater
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IELTS essay More and more people are now using computers for educational purposes and entertainment. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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