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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Write at least 250 words. Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Although mothers are usually better in their children's upbringing, it is a responsibility of the couple to co-parent allowing both parents an equal opportunity of work-life balance. This essay disagrees with the notion that women should sacrifice their careers to raise their offspring. Women are not only capable of achieving outstanding work goals while caring for their children, but also educate and groom them exceptionally at the same time. Companies have updated their norms regarding childcare so that they could retain their hardworking female employees. In addition, pregnant women are provided with a paid maternity leave to get ready for motherhood. These changes have allowed the working mothers to balance parenting and employment. For instance, my supervisor recently gave birth to her daughter and yet she was able to assist with our projects. However, debaters often argue that the child's fragile future can be strengthened only by the mother's love, and they should give up their jobs. Nonetheless, these debaters lose credit as the children are well educated and brought up when both parents dedicate equal time. In addition, the era where women were represented with limited choices is far gone, as it is evident with strong women leading multi-billion dollar companies along with co-parenting. A prime example is the Vice President of the United states of America, Kamala Harris, who has set records by working in one of the most powerful position ever, while affectionately caring for her children and family. In conclusion, the expectations set by old generations about women requiring to stay home for their child's development do not hold true anymore. There are numerous provisions made to help working mothers to take care of their children. There should be equal support from the father as well. Ultimately, it should be the women's choice.
Although mothers are
usually
better in their children's upbringing, it is a responsibility of the couple to co-parent allowing both parents an equal opportunity of work-life balance. This essay disagrees with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should sacrifice their careers to raise their offspring.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
capable of achieving outstanding work goals while caring for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
educate and groom them
exceptionally
at the same time.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
have updated their norms regarding childcare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could retain their hardworking female employees.
In addition
, pregnant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are provided
with a paid maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for motherhood. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
the working mothers to balance parenting and employment.
For instance
, my supervisor recently gave birth to her
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
daughter and
yet
she was able to assist with our projects.

However
, debaters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue that the child's fragile future can
be strengthened
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the mother's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, and they should give up their jobs. Nonetheless, these debaters lose credit as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well educated
and brought up when both parents dedicate equal time.
In addition
, the era where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were represented
with limited choices is far gone, as it is evident with strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
leading multi-billion dollar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
along with co-parenting. A prime example is the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
Vice President of the United states
of America, Kamala Harris, who has set records by working in one of the most powerful position ever, while
affectionately
caring for her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and family.

In conclusion
, the expectations set by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generations about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
requiring to stay home for their child's development do not hold true anymore. There are numerous provisions made to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb ‘help’ is used with an infinitive: “to work” or “work”.
working
mothers to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There should be equal support from the father
as well
.
Ultimately
, it should be the women's choice.
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IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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