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woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children.

woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. 70jey
Equality between men and women is a matter of debate throughout society. Some folks believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Firstly, in this essay, i’ll state my opinion in the job positions of females and the affirmation that social benefits are obtained from women when working On the on hand, women have the ability to control emotions and thoughts accurately and the quality of child management so this potential can be expand the issue of social education. And these very competencies, they can calculate the revenue balance of today's business market, so, when business grows, automatically it will impact on the nation’s economy by obtaining the revenue. For instance, for instance, according to statistics, the US has only 10% of women staying at home doing housework, the point to emphasize here is that women are not robots taking care of children and doing housework every day! They need to communicate in society to find and develop their own capabilities, because of that knowledge, they hold higher positions, contribute a part to society, and that's also why the United States has a highly developed economy in the world. But I do not advise the woman who only knows how to put her head down to work all day! Women play a crucial role in child upbringing. when mother of a child stops looking after they, then that of spring don’t develop the understanding of the relation and might grow up as unuseful member of the socielty. In conclusion, women have great ability, they can combine both fields of family and work, so I believe women have the right to choose different professions to express their instincts
Equality between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is a matter of debate throughout society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks believe that a woman’s role should
be limited
to taking care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and children.
Firstly
, in this essay,
Did you mean "I’ll"?
i’ll
state my opinion in the job positions of females and the affirmation that social benefits
are obtained
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
when working

On the on hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the ability to control emotions and thoughts
accurately
and the quality of child management
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this potential can be
Consider using the past participle "expanded"?
expand
the issue of social education. And these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competencies, they can calculate the revenue balance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's business market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, when business grows,
automatically
it will impact on the nation’s economy by obtaining the revenue.
For instance
,
for instance
, according to statistics, the US has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
staying at home doing housework, the point to emphasize here is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not robots taking care of children and doing housework every day! They need to communicate in society to find and develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
capabilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that knowledge, they hold higher positions, contribute a part to society, and that's
also
why the United States has a
highly
developed economy in the world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I do not advise the woman who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knows how to put her head down to work all day!
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
play a crucial role in child upbringing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
mother of a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
looking after they, then that of spring don’t develop the understanding of the relation and might grow up as unuseful member of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
socielty
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have great ability, they can combine both fields of family and work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the right to choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professions to express their instincts
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IELTS essay woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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