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Some people argue that it is important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. To what extent do you agree with the statement.

Some people argue that it is important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. kL3qO
Most people nowadays go to college or university to study a field they are interested in in order to have a nice and pleasurable time. Money is still a factor in job choices, and some feel that making a living is more important than doing something you enjoy. On one side of the coin, it is true that money does, in some ways, lead to a better quality of life. With more money, we can, for example, consume more, purchase high-quality goods, travel, and participate in a variety of activities. All of these factors help to make life more joyful. Even if the job we do does not totally fulfill us, all of our other moments will be packed with thrilling experiences. The goal is to achieve happiness and well-being to some level, and money is a means to that end. On the other side of the coin, while money can help you achieve happiness, it may not be enough. People nowadays are not looking for jobs that match their interests by accident. It's a trend that's gaining traction in Western countries. Every year, institutions, for example, provide a broader selection of topics and programs in order to answer the question that every young person asks: "What do I want to do with my life? " Some people choose to leave their jobs, even if they are highly paid since they are growing up in an atmosphere that they dislike. This is clear evidence that money cannot provide all of our wants. In conclusion, I believe that, while payment can assist in living a better life, it cannot guarantee happiness. We spend the majority of our lives at work, and more and more people are realizing that this time must be joyful.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays go to college or university to study a field they
are interested
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
order to have a nice and pleasurable time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is
still
a factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
choices, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that making a living is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than doing something you enjoy.

On one side of the coin, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, lead to a better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. With more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we can,
for example
, consume more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
high-quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, travel, and participate in a variety of activities. All of these factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more joyful. Even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
we do does not
totally
fulfill us, all of our other moments will
be packed
with thrilling experiences. The goal is to achieve happiness and well-being to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
level, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a means to that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the other side of the coin, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you achieve happiness, it may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays are not looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that match their interests by accident. It's a trend that's gaining traction in Western countries. Every year, institutions,
for example
, provide a broader selection of topics and programs in order to answer the question that every young person asks:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
What do I want to do with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, even if they are
highly
paid since they are growing up in an atmosphere that they dislike. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot provide all of our wants.

In conclusion
, I believe that, while payment can assist in living a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it cannot guarantee happiness. We spend the majority of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at work, and more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'realizing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are realizing
that this time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be joyful.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that it is important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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