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Withing the pas 6.000 years a small fraction of human history, some of our ancestors come together in cities. Today more than half world's peole live in these new settings, some of which have tens of millions of inhabitants

Withing the pas 6. 000 years a small fraction of human history, some of our ancestors come together in cities. Today more than half world's peole live in these new settings, some of which have tens of millions of inhabitants pLp1L
It is a common phenomenon and indisputable fact that majority of people moved to the new and modern cities to live in. There are several reasons why I believe that it is useful and it has more advantage to inhabit in urban areas. It would certainly be a sobering thought to assert that many People migrate to cities from the countryside in order to have job opportunities And Cities offer greater employment changes and a higher standard of living for people while in suburban areas there are less jobs and conditions. . What is more that, working on farms does not bring more income and it is a bit hardship to work. I must emphasize that cities give people to create their career and find their place in the society. You can meet a lot of new people and can make friends even at the bus stop. Also you can share your experiences with people and can have more new ideas and information and knowledge available for you and always you can be informed of latest world news through the computer and the internet. And it must be said that means of transportations is not problem, you can go easily where you want. It has become apparent in recent years that the population of the world is increasing and it will cause to create new places. And some cases, for most people living in the countryside is a bit boring such as every days’ similar daily routine makes them depressed and exhausted. They believe that in the cities life is much more interesting. For instance, after hard working day, they can go to any entertainment places such as parks, restaurants, cinemas and so on. . It is certainly true view that there are more educational opportunities and many institutes and collages in cities. So cities provide more effective and modern experience and knowledge because many books and resources are found which you need. In conclusion, in the modern and new cities you can have much more easy standard cost of living and can have more opportunities than countryside.
It is a common phenomenon and indisputable fact that majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. There are several reasons why I believe that it is useful and it has more advantage to inhabit in urban areas.

It would
certainly
be a sobering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to assert that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from the countryside in order to have job opportunities And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
offer greater employment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and a higher standard of living for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while in suburban areas there are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun jobs is countable.
less
jobs and conditions.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
What is more
that, working on farms does not bring more income and it is a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
bit
hardship to work.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
emphasize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to create their career and find their place in the society. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends even at the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
you can share your experiences with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and can have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and information and knowledge available for you and always you can
be informed
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
through the computer and the internet. And it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that means of transportations is not problem, you can go
easily
where you want.

It has become apparent in recent years that the population of the world is increasing and it will cause
Did you mean "creating"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the countryside is a bit boring such as every days’ similar daily routine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them depressed and exhausted. They believe that in the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cities'" or "city's"?
cities
life is much more interesting.
For instance
, after
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
day, they can go to any entertainment places such as parks, restaurants, cinemas and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
It is
certainly
true view that there are more educational opportunities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
institutes and collages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide more effective and modern experience and knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books and resources
are found
which you need.

In conclusion
, in the modern and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
you can have much more easy standard cost of living and can have more opportunities than countryside.
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IELTS essay Withing the pas 6. 000 years a small fraction of human history, some of our ancestors come together in cities. Today more than half world's peole live in these new settings, some of which have tens of millions of inhabitants

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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