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Function of young people in modren world

Function of young people in modren world 9Qkln
One of the most obvious ways to improve the function of the modern world for young people is to study past. The more we pay attention to the past, the best effect we will have on people mostly young or teenagers. Moreover, by searching about past we are able to figure out many facts which is really beneficial in this modern world. Studying past has momentous role in all of the people’s life specially young people who can explore the past and use it to deal with the present world. Furthermore, if young people study the past, they will get familiar with the culture and the way of their people’s live in the past. For instance, performing history classes in schools can make young people to know more about their country’s history. So will understand about their nation and when they grow up they will care about it. Meantime, there are several other measures to develop function of young people’s life beside studying history such as being social and aware about most of careers. For example, a person who is more familiar with different facts of life can have a better function than a person who is not social and don’t have information about various incident of life. Additionally, young people are ready to learn new skills in their lives. Likewise an empty box that should be fill with new things such as experience which can be achieved by diverse activities. In particular, traveling to other places could inform the young about the world around them. Also they can learn the language as well as learning their culture or history. To conclude, not only the government, but also families must notice that teaching or giving information about past will assist young people to get familiar with the past of their country as a result, they are able to use that experiences and they will learn how to cope with those obstacles which our ancestors have
One of the most obvious ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the function of the modern world for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
to study

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
past
. The more we pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, the best effect we will have on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
or


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teenagers
.
Moreover
, by searching about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
we are able to figure out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facts which is
really


beneficial in this modern world.

Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
has momentous role in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life
specially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can explore the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
past
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to deal with the present world.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
study the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
familiar
with the culture and the way of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
For instance
, performing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
history


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
classes
in schools can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know more about their country’s history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
will


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
understand
about their nation and when they grow up they will care about it.

Meantime, there are several other measures to develop function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life beside studying

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
history
such as being social and aware about
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the careers") or simply say "most careers".
most of careers
.
For example
, a person who is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
more


familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
facts of life can have a better function than a person who is not social and don’t

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
information about various incident of life.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ready to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
an empty box that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
should


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
fill with new things such as experience which can
be achieved
by diverse activities.
In particular
,

traveling to other places could inform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
about the world around them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they can learn
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
language
as well
as learning their culture or history.

To conclude
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
notice that teaching or giving information

about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
will assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
of their country
as a result
, they are able

to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experiences and
they will learn how to cope with those obstacles which our ancestors have
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IELTS essay Function of young people in modren world

Essay
  American English
18 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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