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Crimes and other kind of information on newspapers have bad consequences. Information should be restricted on media. Agree or disagree with the statement.

Crimes and other kind of information on newspapers have bad consequences. Information should be restricted on media. Agree or disagree with the statement. W578N
Nowadays, crimes are increasing rapidly surrounding us and we can get news in within a short time on social media. However, According to some people, many news have been raising more ideas of crimes in human mind. Especially for the child. I strongly agree with this view. I emphasize the reasons below. First of all, broadcasting in details of incidence can be misguide to people on wrong way. Specially, when children watch that news which are really avoidable for them, like, murder, rape. etc. It can boost their thoughts to plan of crimes. Secondly, sometime newspaper article spread negative factors of situation. Hench, many people scared by the situation and eventually, people get unaware of actual condition of surrounding them. For intense, pandemic news. Many people lose their hope to battle this critical situation. In a other way, use of social media needy people can get help in their crucial time. Like, few month ago, a tiny age child Dhirajsinh’s parents requested to help on public platform. Surprisingly. He has gotten a jet of Rs 16 Crores’s. Many people donated help and money him to save his life. Additionally, In a disaster social media contribute their efforts to help people, who affected by natural catastrophe. In conclusion, I believe that, media is a great way to make ourselves more aware of all over the world. If, it regulate some news method then definitely, we can save our upcoming generation to decrease the crimes.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are increasing
rapidly
surrounding
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in within a short time on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
However
, According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
have been raising more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in human mind.
Especially
for the child. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. I emphasize the reasons below.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, broadcasting in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of incidence can be
Consider using the past participle "misguided"?
misguide
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
Specially
, when children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which are
really
avoidable for them, like, murder, rape.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
. It can boost their thoughts to plan of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Secondly
, sometime newspaper article spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
factors of situation. Hench,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
scared by the situation and
eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unaware of actual condition of surrounding them. For intense, pandemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their hope to battle this critical situation.

Consider replacing "In a other way" with the adverb for "other"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a other way
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in their crucial time. Like, few month ago, a tiny age child
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhirajsinh
’s parents requested to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
on public platform.
Surprisingly
. He has gotten a jet of Rs 16 Crores’s.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
donated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and money him to save his life.
Additionally
, In a disaster social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
contribute their efforts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by natural catastrophe.

In conclusion
, I believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ourselves more aware of all over the world. If, it
Did you mean "regulates"?
regulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
method then definitely, we can save our upcoming generation to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
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IELTS essay Crimes and other kind of information on newspapers have bad consequences. Information should be restricted on media. Agree or disagree with the statement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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