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With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. AOYX
An ever-increasing number of graduates decide to work for a year before applying to either university or college in the majority of countries. Although there are such benefits as choosing an appropriate major and budgeting the money for the education cases, the trend also has some drawbacks, namely a possibility to forget beneficial information. One of the advantages is that by completing the work, students might save some budget for later purposes. It is undoubtedly that in almost all countries the tertiary education is paid, therefore, the opportunity to invest some time for working allows bachelors to pay for all tuition fees, accommodation, and daily spendings without interrupting their education. If people work right after school, they will be able to focus on their studies, instead of competing a part-time job during the education at universities. Another benefit is the possibility to realize the true future path during the work. Most students are not able to decide either their future profession or the main major at a university. In contrast, those who work some time would realize what kind of job is enjoyable for them. As the research in Oxford University depicts, among undergraduates, about 40% of them effectively selected their subjects after taking a year of working. But this development has such a drawback as losing knowledge which was obtained during school. For some countries, such as Russia and Kazakhstan, it is beneficial to pass the examination in order to apply for further education. Because of expending a whole year without learning, alumni might forget the acquired information that necessary for the required exams; therefore, they need to learn twice harder to acquire a high score than those who pass in the same year. According to the studies conducted in one of the Kazakhstan cities, approximately 60% of test-takers who have passed after working failed the examination. In conclusion, while students who work after school have some advantages, such as earning enough money for education fees and selecting the future profession, such a development also has drawbacks like forgetting necessary knowledge.
An ever-increasing number of graduates decide to
work
for a
year
before
applying to either
university
or college in the majority of countries. Although there are such benefits as choosing an appropriate major and budgeting the money for the
education
cases, the trend
also
has
some
drawbacks,
namely
a possibility to forget beneficial information.

One of the advantages is that by completing the
work
, students might save
some
budget for later purposes. It is
undoubtedly
that in almost all countries the tertiary
education
is paid
,
therefore
, the opportunity to invest
some
time for working
allows
bachelors to pay for all tuition fees, accommodation, and daily
spendings
without interrupting their
education
. If
people
work
right after school, they will be able to focus on their studies,
instead
of competing a part-time job during the
education
at
universities
. Another benefit is the possibility to realize the true future path during the
work
. Most students are not able to decide either their future profession or the main major at a
university
.
In contrast
, those
who
work
some
time would realize what kind of job is enjoyable for them. As the research in Oxford
University
depicts, among undergraduates, about 40% of them
effectively
selected their subjects after taking a
year
of working.

But
this development has such a drawback as losing knowledge which
was obtained
during school. For
some
countries, such as Russia and Kazakhstan, it is beneficial to pass the examination in order to apply for
further
education
.
Because
of expending a whole
year
without learning, alumni might forget the acquired information that necessary for the required exams;
therefore
, they need to learn twice harder to acquire a high score than those
who
pass in the same
year
. According to the studies conducted in one of the Kazakhstan cities, approximately 60% of
test
-takers
who
have passed after working failed the examination.

In conclusion
, while students
who
work
after school have
some
advantages, such as earning
enough
money for
education
fees and selecting the future profession, such a development
also
has drawbacks like forgetting necessary knowledge.
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IELTS essay With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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