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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this. BAq6
In the current world, there is an increasing number of different crimes. Although it is believed by some that a guilty should be punished for a longer period of imprisonment, I suppose that it would be better to use other effective ways. On the one hand, those who have done a serious crime should be restricted to imprisonment according to the law. Such guilty as murderers, hijackers, and criminals who attacked innocent people need to be given prison sentences in order to set an example for others. If people know about strict punishments, they would think thoroughly before disobeying the law. In most countries, the proportion of offenses started to decrease by 10% each year since criminals began to receive custodial sentences, according to the researches at Oxford university. Considering such actions, even if people will be in jails, there is still a chance that after leaving prisons they might commit a more serious offense. On the other hand, I consider that not all offenders should be punished in the same way, instead, judges may consider the people's motive to perform a sin. It is undoubtedly that the majority of people do not have the intention to harm someone, and if it is proved by a lawyer, it may be manslaughter. In such cases, it would be honest to give them community works or pay a fine to the witness instead of appointing the strongest execution. According to studies conducted in one of the Russian cities, among defendants who accomplished charity works and paid monetary fines were unlikely to disobey the rules and the proportion of criminals dropped to 30%. In conclusion, while some argue that lawbreakers should be given longer imprisonment by the legislation, I believe that some petty criminals should receive community service hours and fines as a penalty.
In the
current
world, there is an increasing number of
different
crimes. Although it
is believed
by
some
that a guilty should
be punished
for a longer period of imprisonment, I suppose that it would be better to
use
other effective ways.

On the one hand, those who have done a serious crime should
be restricted
to imprisonment according to the law. Such guilty as murderers, hijackers, and
criminals
who attacked innocent
people
need to be
given
prison sentences in order to set an example for others. If
people
know about strict punishments, they would
think
thoroughly
before
disobeying the law. In most countries, the proportion of offenses
started
to decrease by 10% each year since
criminals
began to receive custodial sentences, according to the researches at Oxford university. Considering such actions, even if
people
will be in jails, there is
still
a chance that after leaving prisons they might commit a more serious offense.

On the other hand
, I consider that not all offenders should
be punished
in the same way
,
instead
, judges may consider the
people
's motive to perform a sin. It is
undoubtedly
that the majority of
people
do not have the intention to harm someone, and if it
is proved
by a lawyer, it may be manslaughter. In such cases, it would be honest to give them community works or pay a fine to the witness
instead
of appointing the strongest execution. According to studies conducted in one of the Russian cities, among defendants who accomplished charity works and paid monetary fines were unlikely to disobey the
rules
and the proportion of
criminals
dropped to 30%.

In conclusion
, while
some
argue that lawbreakers should be
given
longer imprisonment by the legislation, I believe that
some
petty
criminals
should receive community service hours and fines as a penalty.
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IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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