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with the pressure, students are made to succeed academically, some people argue that non-academic subject such as physical exercises and cookery should be removed so that students can concentrate on their studies.

with the pressure, students are made to succeed academically, some people argue that non-academic subject such as physical exercises and cookery should be removed so that students can concentrate on their studies. lxjoW
Today's youths are pressured to be academically successful, few individuals think that non-academic subject at school such as PE and cookery ought not to be mandatory so that the young is able to have a concentration only on academic ones. In my opinion, I partially agree with this view, owing to some factors. On the one hand, students have to maintain healthy lifestyle in order to prevent short life expectancy and some kind of illnesses, for example obesity. Due to the fact that if people do not workout or do some physical exercises on a daily basis, they are likely to face some health problems in their middle life. Physical Education, therefore, must remain not only in its position but also in daily routine. On the other hand, cookery subject should not be taught longer at schools, given that it requires a bit more time per lesson. And it can be learnt at home with the help of parents. For instance, meals and any kind of cooks are prepared in every family. Thus pupils do not have to be explained how to cook. Consequently, they have more time to do their task given at their studies. And this will enable students to excel and achieve their intentions. In conclusion, I believe that it is possible to stop teaching cookery, there must be always PE lessons at any education center.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's youths
are pressured
to be
academically
successful, few individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that non-academic subject at school such as PE and cookery ought not to be mandatory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the young is able to have a concentration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on academic ones. In my opinion, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors. On the one hand, students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain healthy lifestyle in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
short life expectancy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of illnesses,
for example
obesity. Due to the fact that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not workout or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical exercises on a daily basis, they are likely to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems in their middle life. Physical Education,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remain not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in its position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in daily routine.
On the other hand
, cookery subject should not
be taught
longer at schools,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that it requires a bit more time per lesson. And it can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt at
home with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of parents.
For instance
, meals and any kind of cooks
are prepared
in every family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
pupils do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
how to cook.
Consequently
, they have more time to do their task
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
at their studies. And this will enable students to excel and achieve their intentions.
In conclusion
, I believe that it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
teaching cookery, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be always PE lessons at any education center.
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IELTS essay with the pressure, students are made to succeed academically, some people argue that non-academic subject such as physical exercises and cookery should be removed so that students can concentrate on their studies.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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