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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and less time on sports. What are the reason behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and less time on sports. What are the reason behind this? Is it a positive or negative development? bOYLB
In this modernization world the use of technology is increase in every field. Children tend to spend more time to play computer games and less on sports. This essay intense to analyse the causes behind this situation and it is a negative development which we will discuss in our essay. Nowadays, children are addicted to play digital games due to some reasons. One of the prime reason is that they feel comfortable when they are enjoying such games. They can play anytime when they want, there is no fix time for online games. For example, they can play Subway surfers, which is famous in the entire world, in anywhere between 24 hours. Second thing is that they want to use more technology and because of this they are spending too much time to play digital games. There is some negative effect on individuals. One of the principal drawback is that they are facing health related problems such as obesity, blur vision and many more. This problems are occur because they do not involve their selves in physical activities like playing football, cricket and basketball, which is more beneficial to their health. For example football is a sport in which individuals boost their stamina by running all the time on the ground. Another thing that needs to be considered is that they become lazy when they do not participate in such outdoor sports. For example, excessive use of digital device to play games encourage them to sit at one place. Furthermore, the communication skill speedway state do not need to talk with others. As a result, they become introvert. To sum up, children spending excessive time in digital games rather than outdoor games has it's reason and it has a negative effect on individual.
In this modernization world the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology is increase in every field. Children tend to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and less on sports. This essay intense to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the causes behind this situation and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development which we will discuss in our essay.

Nowadays, children
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. One of the prime reason is that they feel comfortable when they are enjoying such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
anytime when they want, there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Subway surfers, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in the entire world, in anywhere between 24 hours. Second thing is that they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more technology and
because of this
they are spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
digital games.

There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on individuals. One of the principal drawback is that they are facing health related problems such as obesity, blur vision and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Did you mean "these"?
This
problems are
Consider using a past participle here: "occurred".
occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not involve their selves in physical activities like playing football, cricket and basketball, which is more beneficial to their health.
For example
football is a sport in which individuals boost their stamina by running all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the ground.

Another thing that needs to
be considered
is that they become lazy when they do not participate in such outdoor sports.
For example
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of digital device to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
encourage them to sit at one place.
Furthermore
, the communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
speedway state do not need to talk with others.
As a result
, they become introvert.

To sum up, children spending excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
reason and it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on individual.
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IELTS essay Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and less time on sports. What are the reason behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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