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With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. RQmp
It is argued that with the growing demand of a number of fossil fuels, actions should be taken to unlock new areas where such resources are expected to be available. I strongly disagree with this, due to the fact that the extraction of these resources are harmful for nature, and such resources could be replaced with renewable ones. Firstly, the first reason why extraction of fuels from undiscovered region should not be admissible, is that this act is harmful for habitat. Likewise, one of the possible consequences of using undiscovered areas to access such resources will be deforestation. To illustrate more, deforestation affects the balance of environment, since trees contribute to the surrounding by playing the role of improving air quality and climate amelioration. Furthermore, trees are mandatory to reduce the heat intensity of greenhouse effect by maintaining low levels of carbon dioxide. For instance, a recent report reveals that after a massive deforestation of some areas in North Australia the temperature has increased and there was a huge climate change compared to previous years. Secondly, the second reason why one can prevent exploring new areas for digging for such fuels is its un usefulness in the presence of other renewable sources. Although it is true that fuel is fundamental in our daily life, however most countries are trying to shift to clean resources in recent days. Moreover, these renewable resources are more accessible and can be easily found in nature. For instance, renewable sources such as sun, wind, and water can play the same role as oil and gas, yet they are less polluting and more environmentally friendly, in addition to that they are more economic. For example, reports have shown that the government of Canada has reduced the costs of fuel consumption when the government start depending more on water and wind energy sources, thus contributing well to the country economy. In conclusion, there is no need to explore new areas to access fuels owing to the fact that such actions therefore may lead to harmful impact on the climate and moreover it was proven that renewable sources are good substitutes for these fuels.
It
is argued
that with the growing demand of a number of fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
, actions should
be taken
to unlock new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where such resources are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be available. I
strongly
disagree with this, due to the fact that the extraction of these resources are harmful for nature, and such resources could
be replaced
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
ones.

Firstly
, the
first
reason why extraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
from undiscovered region should not be admissible, is that this act is harmful for habitat.
Likewise
, one of the possible consequences of using undiscovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to access such resources will be deforestation. To illustrate more, deforestation affects the balance of environment, since trees contribute to the surrounding by playing the role of improving air quality and climate amelioration.
Furthermore
, trees are mandatory to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the heat intensity of greenhouse effect by maintaining low levels of carbon dioxide.
For instance
, a recent report reveals that after a massive deforestation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in North Australia the temperature has increased and there was a huge climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
compared to previous years.

Secondly
, the second reason why one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
exploring new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for digging for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
its un
usefulness in the presence of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. Although it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is fundamental in our daily life,
however
most countries are trying to shift to clean resources in recent days.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
resources are more accessible and can be
easily
found in nature.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
such as sun, wind, and water can play the same role as oil and gas,
yet
they are less polluting and more
environmentally
friendly,
in addition
to that they are more economic.
For example
, reports have shown that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Canada has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
consumption when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
depending more on water and wind energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
,
thus
contributing well to the country economy.

In conclusion
, there is no need to explore new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
owing to the fact that such actions
therefore
may lead to harmful impact on the climate and
moreover
it
was proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
substitutes for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
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IELTS essay With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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