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In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? jGO8
Curfew is the way by which government have control to stop civilian for their safety. Government declare curfew for juvenile in some areas of US. If they have to go then they go with their elders. In my opinion it is impressive to reduce the crime and also beneficial for juvenile. We all know that day by day the numbers of crime was increasing in many countries. US faced the same problem. And most crime done in the dark. Consequently government declare that juvenile are not allowed to go out alone at night rather than their elder's company. It is very effective decision for juvenile. If they have the company of their elders at night outing then it is very safe for teenagers. They can't do something wrong like crime when they have their adults company. It is also help the teenagers that how to maintain discipline, how to complete their all work before time. The curfew is also great news for parents. Because many times teenagers not told their parents where they are going and what time they will come back but after the curfew it is compulsory to touch at home the deadline. Parents also feel very relax that their teenage child will not meet the strangers at night and also do not victim any crime. In my opinion, night curfew after a particular time is worth for parents as well as the teenagers. Parents get mental peace. To conclude, after night curfew juvenile will sit at home and get advice from elders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Curfew
is the way by which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have control to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
civilian for their safety.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
declare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of US. If they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
their elders. In my opinion it is impressive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
also
beneficial for juvenile.

We all know that day by day the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was increasing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. US faced the same problem. And most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
done in the dark.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
declare that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out alone at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
rather
than their elder's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective decision for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
. If they have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their elders at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
outing then it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
safe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. They can't do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
when they have their adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. It is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "helped".
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
that how to maintain discipline, how to complete their all work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
time.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
is
also
great news for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
where they are going and what time they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
it is compulsory to touch at home the deadline.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
also
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relax that their teenage child will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the strangers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
and
also
do not victim any crime.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
after a particular time is worth for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mental peace.

To conclude
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
will sit at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advice from elders.
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IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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