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With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? XGENE
There is no doubt that these days percentage of elderly people is increased due to fact of health care improvment. The question is, how society will plan to take care and mange elderly people health? In this essay, I am going to discuss some factors and drow my personal conclustion. In term of health care improvment, these days people care more about their health. However, this type of care give thim longe life, also their lovers take care about their health. To illustrate, young childrens take care and monitor their parents health, and provide their all required support. Moreover, society takes care for elderly people, and provide them financial support to ensure they have all required health care. In other hand, there are several ideas society and government can do to manage this increasing. Firstly, bulid a huge care centers of elderly people in various city, town and area. In other words, this solution will help to make sure they have a required care. Secondly, a lot of elderly people prefer to take care by them-self which help them to feel independent. In addition, provide them all required tools and equipments to make their life easier. Moreover, the most important type of support is family support, so meet them weekly and setting with them longe time help them to be better. In conclusion, although number of elderly people increased health care get improved more. Also, society awareness about elderly people health care is increased. Therefore, people are taking care about their health care in a better way.
There is no doubt that these
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days
percentage of
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elderly
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people
is increased
due to fact of
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health
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care
Possible spelling mistake found.
improvment
. The question is, how
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society
will plan to take
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care
and mange
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elderly
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people
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health
? In this essay, I am going to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors and
Possible spelling mistake found.
drow
my personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclustion
.

In term of
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health
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care
Possible spelling mistake found.
improvment
, these days
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people
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care
more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
, this type of
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care
give
Possible spelling mistake found.
thim
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longe
life,
also
their lovers take
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care
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To illustrate, young
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens take
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care
and monitor their parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and provide their all
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required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
.
Moreover
,
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society
takes
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care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and provide them financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to ensure they have all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

In other hand, there are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
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society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can do to manage this increasing.
Firstly
,
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bulid
a huge
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care
centers of
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elderly
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people
in various city, town and area.
In other words
, this solution will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they have a
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required
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care
.
Secondly
,
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a lot of
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elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to take
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care
by them-self which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to feel independent.
In addition
, provide them all
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required
tools and equipments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life easier.
Moreover
, the most
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important
type of
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support
is family
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support
,
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so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them weekly and setting with them
Possible spelling mistake found.
longe
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be better.

In conclusion
, although number of
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elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increased
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health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
more.
Also
,
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society
awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is increased
.
Therefore
,
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people
are taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
in a better way.
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IELTS essay With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.