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With the help of technology, people find it easier to connect to others via social networks . Do you think the benefits of online communication are outweighed by the disadvantages?

With the help of technology, people find it easier to connect to others via social networks. Do you think the benefits of online communication are outweighed by the disadvantages? xOEwa
It is without dispute that the advancement of newly-introduced technology facilitates human beings in keeping in touch with others through social media. While this tendency may trigger some adverse ramifications, I would contend that they are eclipsed by the merits. On the one hand, the usage of social networking could potentially pose certain threats for human beings. To commence with, the excessive dependence on those cutting-edge applications may render people reluctant to real life relationships and outdoor activities. As a consequence, they may lead a sedentary life that makes them vulnerable to mental and physical health illnesses ranging from autism to cardiovascular diseases. This could result in a decline in people’s basic ability to socialize and interact with others on a day-to-day basis. Other reverse problems include higher risk of losing their writing abilities as they may use abbreviated words too frequently while using social media. On the other hand, despite the aforementioned demerits, I am strongly convinced that the benefits are far more considerable. To begin with, these state-of-the-art applications facilitate people who study abroad or live far away from their families whenever they want provided that they are well-armed with Internet-connected devices. To give a concrete example, students studying abroad can keep in contact with their loved ones on a daily basis by using the calling features of Facebook or Skype. Additionally, the usage of networks is also beneficial in marketing and business. Precisely, employees can keep their clients updated with products and promotions through posting campaigns on Facebook or Instagram, which inevitably leads to an increase in the efficiency and productivity. In conclusion, although the advancement of social media may trigger various worrying issues, I am believed that the merits are much greater.
It is without dispute that the advancement of
newly
-introduced technology facilitates human beings in keeping in touch with others through
social
media. While this tendency may trigger
some
adverse ramifications, I would contend that they
are eclipsed
by the merits.

On the one hand, the usage of
social
networking could
potentially
pose certain threats for human beings. To commence with, the excessive dependence on those cutting-edge applications may render
people
reluctant to real life relationships and outdoor activities. As a consequence, they may lead a sedentary life that
makes
them vulnerable to mental and physical health illnesses ranging from autism to cardiovascular diseases. This could result in a decline in
people
’s basic ability to socialize and interact with others on a day-to-day basis.
Other
reverse problems include higher
risk
of losing their writing abilities as they may
use
abbreviated words too
frequently
while using
social
media.

On the
other
hand, despite the aforementioned demerits, I am
strongly
convinced that the benefits are far more considerable. To
begin
with, these state-of-the-art applications facilitate
people
who study abroad or
live
far away from their families whenever they want provided that they are well-armed with Internet-connected devices. To give a concrete example, students studying abroad can
keep
in contact with their
loved
ones on a daily basis by using the calling features of Facebook or Skype.
Additionally
, the usage of networks is
also
beneficial in marketing and business.
Precisely
, employees can
keep
their clients updated with products and promotions through posting campaigns on Facebook or Instagram, which
inevitably
leads to an increase in the efficiency and productivity.

In conclusion
, although the advancement of
social
media may trigger various worrying issues, I
am believed
that the merits are much greater.
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IELTS essay With the help of technology, people find it easier to connect to others via social networks. Do you think the benefits of online communication are outweighed by the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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