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Do you agree or disagree with the fact that poverty and illiteracy are one of main reasons behind most crimes?

with the fact that poverty and illiteracy are one of main reasons behind most crimes? 26YMo
It is vehemently claimed that Impoverishment and lack of education are prominent factors behind most of the crimes. I profoundly agree with this notion and this essay will articulate my verdict in forthcoming paragraphs. Without any qualms, to substantiate my opinion, the most exquisite fact is that poverty is prominent cause of crimes because poor people cannot fulfill their basic amenities. For an instance, they cannot eat nutritious food and their kids cannot get opportunity to study. Therefore to fulfill their desires and meet basic requirements, poor individuals start committing crimes such as theft and robbery. In addition to it, scarcity of education is also main reason behind some criminal acts because ill educated masses are not aware about their rights and duties. They try to dominate the society which rises crime rates. They commit crimes such as rape and murder. Hence, poverty and lack of education are main reasons behind crime. However, a section of society believe that they are certain other causes of crime such as environmental factors. Parents use abusive language in front of children and some children have bad friend circle but environmental factors are also co related with illiteracy because unschool parents uses abusive language. Illiteracy is white spread problem. For an instance, less than half of Indian population is illiterate and crime rate is also increasing in India at proliferating rate. To conclude, there is no iota of doubt that there are many factors which leads to crimes but impoverishment and illiteracy are major factors behind proliferating crime rate.
It is
vehemently
claimed that Impoverishment and lack of education are prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
behind most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. I
profoundly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and this essay will articulate my verdict in forthcoming paragraphs.

Without any qualms, to substantiate my opinion, the most exquisite fact is that poverty is prominent cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot fulfill their basic amenities. For an instance, they cannot eat nutritious food and their kids cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to study.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
to fulfill their desires and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
basic requirements, poor individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as theft and robbery.
In addition
to it, scarcity of education is
also
main reason behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criminal acts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
ill educated masses are not aware about their rights and duties. They try to dominate the society which rises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates. They commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as rape and murder.
Hence
, poverty and lack of education are main reasons behind crime.

However
, a section of society believe that they are certain other causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
abusive language in front of children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
friend circle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
also
co related with illiteracy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
unschool
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
abusive language. Illiteracy is white spread problem. For an instance, less than half of Indian population is illiterate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is
also
increasing in India at proliferating rate.

To conclude
, there is no iota of doubt that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
impoverishment and illiteracy are major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
behind proliferating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
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IELTS essay with the fact that poverty and illiteracy are one of main reasons behind most crimes?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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