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some people think that television makes people smarter but some others think that television does not make them much water discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that television makes people smarter but some others think that television does not make them much water wKWdl
Television is a great source of knowledge. For these reasons some individuals believe that television sharpens the mind of masses while few thinks television does not make them intelligent. In this essay both the views will be discussed. Beside it according to me it does not make the crowd smarter to support this notion reason will be mentioned further. To begin with, the former view the preponderant reason is that community things it provide vast knowledge of different fields. Apart from it, television has a different channels with variations in contents. Although numerous channels related to news which keeps them update about all around but even there are some channels with quiz games it is fun to explore knowledge. However general knowledge is crucial for many exams. If they already prepare themselves for entrance test they will easily crack their examinations. Beside it, second factor greater variety of entertainment such as films and reality shows. films telecasting on TV have a profound message related to real world. It helps them to deal with situation in real environment. Whilist in reality show distinct personality used to come and have an opportunities to share experience of their journey. It is good way to learn from there life experience. Another section of society believe it does not makes people intelligent. As they cannot think out of box their imagination power is diminishing. Individuals are following what they were seeing without using their own brains. Such as students used to study from educational channels. Although, everyone has a different approach but learners can also try to learn things in their own way but they never go for it they used to stick to their methods. Another reason few people consider it waste of time they think this time can be utilised in other ways to read news person can prefer newspaper as it will have no adverse effect on their eyes and even they can read books related to their interest to acquire knowledge. To conclude above discussed are both the viewpoints with their supporting reason. While I think it does not make citizen smarter however it restricts their thinking power.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is a great source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
sharpens the mind of masses while few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them intelligent. In this essay both the views will
be discussed
. Beside it according to me it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the crowd smarter to support this notion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
will
be mentioned
further
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the former view the preponderant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that community things it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields. Apart from it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "channel"?
channels
with variations in contents. Although numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
related to news which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them update about all around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
with quiz games it is fun to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is crucial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exams. If they already prepare themselves for entrance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
they will
easily
crack their examinations. Beside it, second factor greater variety of entertainment such as films and reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
films
telecasting on TV have a profound message related to real world. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to deal with situation in real environment.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whilist
in reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
distinct personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an opportunity" or simply "opportunities"?
an opportunities
to share experience of their journey. It is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to learn from there life experience.

Another section of society believe it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "make"
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
intelligent.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
out of box their imagination power is diminishing. Individuals are following what they were seeing without using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
brains. Such as students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to study from educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
. Although, everyone has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
learners can
also
try to learn things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they never go for
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to stick to their methods. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider it waste of time they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this time can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
in other ways to read news person can prefer newspaper as it will have no adverse effect on their eyes and even they can read books related to their interest to acquire knowledge.

To conclude
above discussed are both the viewpoints with their supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. While I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
citizen smarter
however
it restricts their thinking power.
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IELTS essay some people think that television makes people smarter but some others think that television does not make them much water

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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